Exercise: Create a Positivity Box

Today’s post is an excerpt from my book, 7 Thoughts to Live Your Life By: A Guide to the Happy, Peaceful, & Meaningful Life.

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Your Positivity Box could be an actual box, or it could just be a journal, notebook, or scrapbook (physical or digital) that contains quotes, music, videos, pictures, and general reminders of things that are positive in life. You may include a quote by Oprah Winfrey, such as: “Surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher.” You may have the song Happy, sung by Pharrell Williams, or a card written by your child. Alternatively, you could include a list of everything you are grateful for. Another option is to include photos that record positive memories with family and friends. Any time you struggle to stay positive, open your Positivity Box, and remind yourself of all that is good in the world.

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7 Thoughts to Live Your Life By is available on Amazon, Google Play, Apple, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble, and other retailers.

How to Write a Groundbreaking Novel

Recently, one of my readers asked me how he could create a groundbreaking novel. (No, I have not produced my own groundbreaking novel, but maybe I will someday.)

Anyway, here is my response:

Basically, I think there are no shortcuts. It takes hard work, and ideally, you can find a mentor or someone to help guide you. Yet ultimately, you must be willing to find your own voice or path. You cannot allow your true self to go into hiding. You should not become a miniature version of anyone else, as this will forever put you in their shadows.

An exercise I like when writing is to find books that you admire as truly great works, then rewrite them in your own way. This is just a creative exercise and to help improve your writing abilities. Of course, you should never attempt to publish anything that you rewrite.

When we read, it is too passive. If you rewrite, you will truly absorb what the author did and learn the techniques more deeply. By rewrite, I mean going sentence by sentence through a full novel and then rewriting them all in your own way, but trying to keep the same idea that the author intended.

In doing this, you may begin to discover your own style and interpretations. You may even realize that you have certain flaws that you need to work on.

Of course, this is just an exercise, and it can only take you so far.

To produce something revolutionary will likely mean that you have attained a deep and great understanding of humanity. How could you write something that connects to so many people if you do not truly understand those people? This is done in many ways - through connecting with people in your life more deeply, reading (particularly in your genres of interest), watching films, etc.

Ask yourself who you truly want to connect with. To say all of humanity may be too grand of a scope. It could help to think smaller, at least to begin. Do you want to connect with soldiers? With working moms? With people who want to save the planet? With those who struggle to find meaning in life? With those who suffered great tragedies? With the broken-hearted? Who is it?

Learn about people as deeply as you can if you want to produce artwork that inspires, heals, or provokes them in some way. Leonardo da Vinci is a great example. He was not satisfied with simply creating a drawing or painting that appeared lifelike. He wanted to truly bring it to life as much as was possible. To do this, he studied anatomy. And to do that, he was willing to do what no one else probably was. He dissected cadavers and drew humans from the inside out so that he could learn about everything that was beneath the surface. To draw and paint more realistically, he felt the need to learn more than his contemporaries - and it paid off with the Mona Lisa and his other famous paintings.

If you would like to learn about human nature through a novel, one of my favorite books is Marcel Proust’s In Search of Lost Time (An alternate title is Remembrance of Things Past). It is perhaps the world’s longest novel at 6 volumes – and no, I have not finished it. Otherwise, of course, you can study psychology, sociology, and philosophy. You can also work on observing people more closely and experiencing more of life for yourself.

Before you jump headfirst into creating your great work, you may have to admit to yourself if you are not ready yet. It may be best to work on some practice runs, to see what you are capable of. For example, rather than writing your full novel, you may start with some short story ideas. I believe many of the greatest writers produced their best works later in their career, after having gained a lot of experience writing and also experience in life. There is nothing wrong with building experience so that you can produce your great work later.

Do not be in such a rush to do everything now. You may need to train, build your skills, and learn more deeply before you can produce your greatest work.

Perhaps as the years go by, you may get frustrated if you have not made much progress on producing your great work. Or maybe you have produced something, but no one seemed to take notice. At some point, you will have to let go of expectations. You can only create your work the best way that you can - you cannot control the reception you will get. Many great works are not recognized until after the death of an author. You have to decide if it is worth it, given that. If you need praise and acclaim to keep going, you may struggle to find your way.

As the years pass, at some point, you may find value in forgetting all that you know and doing things in your own way instead, perhaps tapping into your own soul or deeper spirit. You will have learned all the rules and patterns and ways that everyone else did things, and then you can abandon them all and truly get creative.

To create a dent in the universe, I think the smoothest path is to do something only you could have done. Rather than compete in a space everyone else is working on, create your own space where only you fit. E.g., create your own genre or genre mix, dig deeper into a topic or situation that no one else is considering, or find a new angle or perspective that no one else ever examined.

Although I haven't read it, Mark Danielewski's House of Leaves comes to mind. Like it or not, this book seems to have created its own genre space, meaning it has no real competition.

To be groundbreaking, you have to ask what you think is groundbreaking. Do you want to get people to take action on something? To see something in a new way? To experience something more deeply? What is it?

If you want to share new insights that you think no one else has discovered, then you may need to learn more deeply or experience more deeply than anyone else has. You must prepare to sacrifice a lot to get to that point. It may be easier to share insights that others have already shared but to do it in a new way that no one else had ever thought of. Perhaps you will reveal a new perspective or way of thinking this way.

As a final bit of advice, if you find a genre you love and want to work in, read some of the great works in that genre, and then ask yourself what you can add or contribute.

WHEN you produce your groundbreaking work, let me know. I would be happy to check it out!

Looking Forward to It

We should have something to look forward to every day. Today is just an ordinary day for me, and so I thought this would be a good day to think up what I am looking forward to. The point is not to consider things I may look forward to for next week or next month – it should be for today.

Having something to look forward to makes the day better, more fulfilling, you feel more energized, and you get more done. The benefits are endless, so this is worth doing daily, or at least periodically. Also, if you struggle to come up with anything to look forward to, it is a sign that you should make some changes in your life.

I want you to consider what you are looking forward to today. Perhaps seeing my list below will help you to come up with some ideas.

I am looking forward to listening to music while I work

I have always enjoyed listening to a wide range of music, and this is something that I like to do when I am working. I usually put the volume low so that it does not disrupt my focus. Today I am listening to Kimbra’s album “Vows.” Many people may not be aware, but I have quite an eclectic taste in music. I find something enjoyable from almost every genre.

I am looking forward to picking up my wife from work.

The ride home is only about 10 minutes, but it feels great to see her so that we can spend the evening together. On the ride, we often discuss problems that came up during the day, either with my work or with hers, but this is our way of staying caught up on each other’s lives. Sometimes we also  discuss things we are looking forward to doing. Our topics of discussion tend to vary widely, but I suppose that’s something that we enjoy about each other’s company.

I am looking forward to writing today’s post.

This is a bit of a cheat, since I’m literally writing it right now. But this morning when I was getting ready for work, I was looking forward to writing the day’s post. I don’t have a specific plan for every post. Usually I just come up with an idea that I find important and want to discuss with you, and then I write it. I enjoy writing, thinking, sharing, and exploring new ideas, so of course I usually look forward to writing my post for the day.

By the way, I also look forward to hearing what you think about today’s post, if you would like to comment on it below.

I look forward to hearing from friends or family

A close friend of mine who is living in Paris now just connected with me on social media and sent me a message, so I was quite happy with this. These small ways to stay connected truly make a difference in my life. I have learned that it is important to stay connected with friends and to make the effort to maintain important relationships in our lives.

Some of the most frequent people I connect with, aside from my wife who I live with, are my Mom, my brother, Arthur (friend who has commented on the site many times), Dave (friend and co-author of Question Yourself), my readers of course, and a variety of other family and friends. I usually don’t know who will contact me, but I am honored to have enough close connections that on most days, someone will connect with me.

I look forward to the unexpected.

Most of my day is planned out. I know what I will do and when, and what my goals are. However, I have learned to look forward to the unexpected. Sometimes this brings something pleasant, and sometimes it is just an obstacle.

Even when new obstacles seem overbearing, they are actually manageable if we keep a calm head and evaluate our options.

As most of my day is ordered, I actually look forward to something new that will come my way that I didn’t see coming. Often, this will be my day’s challenge, and I am not someone who will shy away from this.

A tip I recommend is allowing some blank space (or time where nothing is scheduled) in your day so that when something unexpected happens, you actually expect it and can deal with it more smoothly.

Enough about me – Get a piece of paper and fill in the blank – Today, I am looking forward to: _________________

(Or of course, let me know in the comments below if you would like.)

Unlock Infinite Possibilities (A Creative Exercise)

We often fail to see just how many options we truly have. We may assume that we have two possible pathways, or maybe three when the possibilities are actually infinite.

As a thought exercise, imagine this:

You are trapped in a car and there is a large brick next to you.

For most people, it may be difficult to think beyond this brick. It is so prominent that it is practically shouting, “break a window with it.”

However, let’s think a bit more deeply.

Even though I said you were trapped in the vehicle, perhaps this was just an assumption. Maybe the doors seem to be locked or jammed shut, but they are so old that if you press on them, they may pop open with little effort.

Since I didn’t explain how you got in the vehicle, maybe this is your own vehicle, and you have the keys in your pocket or nearby. You may be able to start the car and drive it somewhere that you could ask for help.

Surely you are wondering what led up to this scenario. It’s unknown. Perhaps you were in an accident and suffered amnesia.

If none of the above options to escape work, of course, you could check if anyone is nearby currently to help you.

Unfortunately, no one is there.

Practically on a daily basis, I hear people say in response to problems that we can go with Plan A or Plan B. They identify two options, or sometimes, they only identify one possible option. And often, implementing such plans would require a great deal of time, money, or energy.

But sometimes, we don’t have any of that. Some people lack financial resources and work hard to get by – they don’t have much time, money, or energy. They need to resolve their problems quickly despite these setbacks, or they do not get resolved. They must be resourceful – if they cannot figure things out for themselves, no one else will step in to solve it for them.

Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes we are presented with new and big problems when we least expect it when we don’t feel able to handle them, even when we are already overwhelmed with other problems.

Nonetheless, we must deal with the most pressing problem in front of us. In this scenario, you are still stuck in this car, and you want to get out.

What if you already tried all the above options that I proposed? You checked if you could force the doors open, you looked for the keys, you checked around to see if anyone could help you, and you even tried to use the brick to break open the windows. They seem to be reinforced and not so easily breakable. Nothing worked.

What else can you try?

You look around for a cell phone, and you check the glove box for anything useful. Nothing. The car is not old enough where you can roll down the windows manually. It has an electronic switch that does not work unless the car is on.

At this point, most people might give up. It seems like you’ve tried everything.

Can you think of anything else?

Remember, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around. You’re welcome to try banging on the glass to get attention, but I can tell you that will accomplish nothing as the creator of this scenario.

If you would like, take a bit of time to come up with one more thing you could try. I will come up with 7 more ideas to escape. Do not use Google to get ideas (or any search engine) – I am not. If you are struggling, keep in mind that these do not need to be good ideas. They need to be ideas that may have a chance at working.

When you are ready for my solutions, scroll down.

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1.     Check if there is a sun or moon roof. In some cars, there is a sliding door you can open at the top. If you are lucky, the glass part could have been left open or partially open for you to escape.

2.     Look for a pen, screwdriver, or any equipment that may help you to force the ignition to start, functioning as a sort of key. I know I said there was nothing useful in the glove box, but perhaps there were other compartments to search, or there may even have been something under the seats. By starting the car, you may drive it somewhere that you can get help.

3.     Alternatively, if you find anything like a pen, screwdriver, or something like this, you may try to force a window to slide down.

4.     Rather than throwing the brick at the windows or knocking it against them, lay the brick against the windows and then use your feet to kick the brick into the window. Your legs can exert more power, so this may be more successful. I’m aware that getting into a position to accomplish this may be challenging if the brick is heavy. (Doing this has some risk of causing injury, unfortunately)

5.     Move the rear seats out of the way so that you can climb into the trunk. There, look for a way to open it or force it open. Perhaps if you are lucky, it will be unlocked, or it was already left open. (While you are there, look for any equipment that may help you escape).

6.     If you have any cash, line up the windows to attract people to the car – obviously, this is in complete desperation, but it may help you get rescued.

7.     If you have tape, markers, string, etc., write SOS in big letters along the car's windows – this is also done to attract attention.

If you thought of some solutions that I did not mention, please post them in the comments.

The whole point of this exercise is to show us that in life, even under normal circumstances, we probably give up quite quickly on looking for solutions. Most of the time, I see people present one or two options, and if those don’t work, they are ready to give up. They may even claim that the problem can’t be solved.

We set limits on ourselves when we do this.

Another situation where we tend to set limits on ourselves is in competition when we are at a disadvantage or we seem to be losing. Most people give up when they should be taking this as an opportunity to look harder for pathways to win. You may be the underdog, but is it truly impossible for you to win?

When you come across a problem or situation, or you feel that you are the underdog, search deeper for ways to solve this or to win. Often, there isn’t just one solution to a problem. There may be 10 or more pathways forward. You don’t need to find THE solution. You need to find ONE way that works.

Keep in mind that the path forward could actually be to abandon your problem for another solvable one or redefine the problem in some cases. In this scenario, several of my solutions were not about escaping directly. Instead, they were about looking for ways to get people to help me escape.

The next time you encounter a challenging problem or are the underdog in a competitive event, look for 7 new ways to solve the problem. If you don’t think you’ll have a difficult problem come up today, then practice making up your own difficult scenarios and resolving the problems that you create in your mind – as we did in this post.

What helps me is I usually imagine that the possible solutions are infinite or near-infinite – this makes it much easier to come up with just 7 solutions. Also, this is a daily practice. It may not be easy at first, but this means you need to work at it. This creative skill can pay off in all areas of our lives.

The possibilities are endless.

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If you feel like you could use some help in getting more creative and finding more possibilities in your daily life, I recommend reading:

Idea Hacks: Come up with 10X More Creative Ideas in 1/2 the Time