Dealing with Resistance
How do you deal with it when you feel a heavy resistance in you, not wanting to move forward with your current life path?
You may find that you live for the weekends or are often bored or miserable in your daily tasks. Perhaps you want a short break, a vacation, or to forget about your life altogether.
When we meet this resistance, where we have been assigned task after task that we are not prepared for or have no interest in, what can we do?
The first thing we will probably do is try to push through it. Your instinct is to keep going even when you don’t want to, right? You may think that sometimes you can fight your way through the resistance, perhaps even ignoring that it exists.
But usually, we will push through, and then we’re met with more and more resistance. You may even come to feel like a heavy, powerful force is holding you back. This becomes a force that is outside of your control – and you can only react to it.
You cannot tell the resistance to go away. The more you want it to go away, the stronger it gets.
When the resistance is strong enough, we cannot focus properly, and we will make mistake after mistake in our work. Our tasks will all be done without motivation, and the results will show. After a certain point, some of us may begin to feel guilty, as if we are failing to accomplish something. The resistance is at fault, yet we feel guilty for not moving forward as we are supposed to.
Perhaps your boss or colleagues are becoming aware that something is wrong - you are not working as efficiently as you used to. They may confront you about this, but in the end, they probably don’t want to hear about your “resistance” or personal problems. They want you to get the work done.
This is the time to go home and reflect.
Is the type of task you are facing simply boring and unfulfilling? Are you being led in a way that does not work for you? We have to identify what the problem is – why are we facing this powerful resistance?
Is there a lack of meaning in what you do? Does it feel like you are just filling time with things to do rather than having a deep purpose in your actions? Did you enjoy these tasks at one point – but now you don’t?
After you have reflected, consider all of your options. Often, our first reaction is to plow through. Then when that doesn’t work, we become frustrated with ourselves and begin to feel like failures. Then upon reflection, we may feel that there is a real problem, but perhaps we do not know how to fix it.
What if you can’t fix the problem giving you this resistance because it’s out of your control?
Maybe the boss decides your tasks, and he won’t be interested in hearing about your troubles. He wants the work done, and he doesn’t care about anything else.
Rather than pushing forward or giving up, perhaps there are ways to pivot. Maybe you can find a way to do your work in a different way that is more interesting or meaningful.
Perhaps you are stuck in resistance because you have decided that you must do your work in one specific way, which is not working for you. Maybe there is another way for you to meet your objectives, where you can even have fun or challenge yourself in a way that motivates you.
Of course, if you try these options and the resistance rises again, sometimes the resistance is telling us that we are on the wrong path.
After a certain point, you may be faced with a key choice – continue on your path, and continue to face the resistance day after day, perhaps even year after year, or seek another way.
Some people fear change or the opinions of others, and so they may choose the path of resisting themselves year after year. You will see the wear and tear on their faces as the seasons pass.
Understand that the resistance isn’t truly coming from outside of us, your boss, or your work obligations. In the end, it is coming from within you. A force inside of you is telling you, “This isn’t working.” This is just a signal that it is time to change something in your life. You may need a new job, relationship, a new place to live, or you may need to leave the situation that led up to all this resistance within you.
As a caveat to walking away from the resistance, consider this. Before you give up on something, ask yourself if you are looking for the easy road or if there is something truly wrong with the scenario. We should not give up too easily in life, but some things are indeed worth giving up on. Some resistances empower us and help us grow and improve, and others hold us back, keeping us from becoming our best selves.
If you find yourself resisting something that is ultimately good for you, be prepared to let down your guard and take in the experience. However, when you resist something that is robbing your time, energy, and life, then it is time to consider another route.
