Life is Therapy

When you go through something troubling, remember that life can be its own form of therapy if you allow it. Life always has a way to help you heal the pain.

You can go for a walk or jog and see where your journey takes you, going wherever the path leads you….

You can listen to music, and allow it to take you to a peaceful plane, or to work out a certain emotion….

You can sit with a friend, and talk about the most trivial things, and let it be, or just have a laugh over nothing in particular….

You can see a dog with its head out the window of a car, truly joyful, perhaps beyond what most humans even experience, and let that sink in….

You can plant a seed and watch it grow and flower….

You can gaze into the clouds, or into the starry night, and search as far as you can….

You can lend a helping hand, finding the person who needs help more than you do….

Even when you are deeply troubled, unsure how to proceed, life can act as a form of therapy, helping you along through the storm.

You can sit back and listen with your whole body, not just your ears, and truly take in all that is happening as it happens, wherever you are, quieting the part of you that must explain and interpret all that it sees and hears….

You can find it in you to let go, to truly let go of whatever you have held onto so dearly, unable to let it be, and finally begin to open the path to somewhere….

You can observe a tree, the changing leaves of autumn, flowing with the wind, strong yet still….

You can sit in gratitude for the chance to experience anything at all, even the pain or troubles which have ultimately molded you into what you needed to be….

You can express yourself in any way that your heart would be contented to do, giving of yourself to the world….

You can simply be kind, patient, and heartfelt, even when these have not been granted to you….

How many examples must there be, infinite examples truly, where life is its own therapy? We simply must be aware and awaken to it.

Remember that for any troubles and pains, you can work through them and come out better on the other side.

The World No Longer Surprises Me

When you see what is happening in this world for what it actually is, it is difficult to be surprised.

Look at nature, and animals often do unpredictable things. We call them wild animals. Those unpredictable actions help them to stay alive. We are animals too, perhaps with more patterned ways of behaving, but we can still be unpredictable. It seems that if unpredictability is useful for survival in some ways, then expecting that unpredictability from others and our environment is also advantageous.

As they say, expect the unexpected.

Sometimes I wonder why anyone would ever be surprised.

Understand that because something appears in a certain way does not mean it is that way. Because one event has transpired the same way twenty times in the past does not mean it will happen that way in the future. Because someone treats you as a friend does not necessarily mean that his intentions are pure. Also, having experienced long spans of prosperity or failure does not mean the same will continue.

Consider that the most horrific event of your life could have a tremendously positive outcome that no one could have foreseen. And also, the greatest triumph of your life could have unexpected terrible consequences.

In light of the above observations, I am no longer surprised by what I see. The shock of seeing the depths of the ills can only go so long until it becomes nothing new.

If you have seen the world, you cease to be surprised by the tremendous ills that happen, which have no good reason or purpose but just happen and cause pain and destruction. Particularly, I mean the ills that we humans have created for ourselves and others in our lives.

Given enough time, the things we thought would not happen, or could not happen, will tend to occur. Just wait and see. (This reminds me of Murphy’s Law).

Consider: Would a cat’s head look at its tail and be surprised by how this part of itself is entirely different from the rest? Similarly, would one human be surprised at another just because they may not conform to each other in any way?

Many of us are not surprised when shocking events happen elsewhere, in another country, where the people have different laws and customs. But when it happens in our backyard, we are surprised. We don’t expect it to happen to us.

We may be jaded at the bad that happens to others, losing the space in our hearts to care, but we still feel unjustly wronged when it happens to us. And then, of course, we will feel more wronged if we realize that people don’t care about our misfortunes and troubles.

And I wonder if we should allow ourselves to feel the pain more acutely that is in the world, or at least the pain in those closest to us. Feel what it is doing to them and their lives and to you by being connected to that life. Don’t feel it so deeply that you can’t handle it and don’t know how to manage it. Rather, feel it enough so that you know you have felt it, and do what you are called to do because of that pain. Then allow that feeling to pass and move on with your life.

It is when we ignore the pain of the world and the people around us that we are truly shocked when that pain finally hits home. But if we have gained some practice in feeling that pain along the way, we can better manage it when it is our turn. We will feel peace knowing we did what we could to process, understand, and perhaps heal some pain.

Do not get stuck in the pain and dwell on it, but do feel it and use it as a way to better understand the human experience.

There are different ways to know pain. You may feel the pain as an insider, as someone experiencing it, knowing it, and needing to deal with the reality of it. Or you may not truly feel the pain as an outsider, as someone hearing a story about an event, perhaps reading statistics rather than feeling the experience. We can know the pain intellectually, or we can know it in our hearts.

We should sometimes dare to feel the pain as an insider, to truly feel it. Then we won’t be as jaded, and we will see that we can do something to help others who are in true pain, and we are not helpless and innocent bystanders to it. We are connected to it somehow.

Their pain can be shared with us, which may somehow lighten the load and deepen our human experience.

There will always be events that shock the world. This is simply the reality.

But keep in mind that a surprising negative event, when it happens anywhere in the world, can always be met by an equally surprising force for good.

When you are called upon, will you be there?

The most wonderful surprise will be when we surprise ourselves with an overflowing good that we had not allowed to come out before.

As I have stated, the world itself will cease to surprise one who has understood what it is.

But do not rule out the possibility of surprising yourself. That may be in the form of joyful spontaneity, or it may be in the form of doing good in the face of terrible darkness. This ability to always surprise oneself is a part of our life’s force, what it means to be alive.

Be the End of Pain

What if there is a person who could be the end of pain?

The pain could be of any type – emotional or physical.

Rather than be a cause of pain or a means to perpetuate it, what if a person could end it?

This line of thought may sound strange to most of us because we usually do not consider this a possibility.

But stay with me.

For any pain occurring anywhere in the world, when it reached a person, he would find it in himself to say that the pain ends here, and then it would truly end there. He would not cause any new pain to anyone, based on any of the pain he had experienced, no matter how acute the pain and no matter how much pain he was to endure.

Even if this person received pain from argumentative, hurtful, or uncaring people, he would still not need to deliver that pain to others.

He would lose that desire that we all appear to have, even all of us who consider ourselves good—the desire to inflict pain. We may not see it, we may deny it, we may even shy away from this reality, but search deep in your mind and your experiences and acknowledge that there was a time when you have been joyous to deliver pain to someone.

But what if you were ready to be the end of pain?

A person could belittle you, lie to you, steal from you, and blame you wrongfully and without reason. Nonetheless, you would still let it all go, let the pain dissipate, allowing it to disappear into nothingness.

You would be able to say to yourself:

“The pain ends here.”

This would be one of the most difficult challenges of your life, to receive pain and then be able to say that this pain does not deserve a home. Then let it float away like the wind, with nowhere to stay and linger.

This would require a tremendous commitment and perhaps even need to become a life goal. That is, if a person were ever to have any hope of being an endpoint to pain, giving it no room to breathe.

Of course, the task of ending pain is not an easy one.

Instead, what tends to happen is that the pain infiltrates us, making us angry, hateful, bitter beings. Of course, when that happens, we can only perpetuate that pain. But then, the pain is just magnified, for it finds a home in our hearts, and we also spread it into others’ hearts. Then they spread it into others’ hearts.

One generation spreads it to another.

One civilization spreads it to another.

Eventually, the pain faucet is open, on full blast, seemingly unstoppable.

And all we hear about is pain.

It must be natural to feel pain and then feel the need to release it, but the result is more and more pain. If pain has no place where it goes to die and be finished, the pain can only grow.

We all water and nourish the pain, yet we forget to take personal accountability for it.

I wonder:

Who can feel pain, perhaps even tremendous amounts of it, and then find the strength in themselves to have the pain submit to them, rather than them submit to it?

Keep in mind that much of society rewards or encourages getting revenge when someone has been truly wronged. If the pain suffered is large enough, the only relief may be to inflict that pain back to its source.

Unfortunately, that does not end the pain, and if anything, it makes it worse.

The issue is that the pain will often undermine our goals, and we will become puppets to it. Many of us would consider ourselves good people, but as soon as any pain is inflicted on us, we view it as righteous to inflict the same kind of pain back to its source. The pain becomes greater than us then, and the pain controls us then.

Look around one day and see that every person around you has suffered some pain, even if it is not visible to you, just as you have suffered. If you believe you have suffered greatly, remember that some of the people you see today will have suffered even more than you, and they may just keep quiet about it.

Many of us pretend to have our lives together but are secretly in pain, and we will not know how to manage that pain. The easiest way appears to be to inflict it onto others, as that is all we have ever seen.

Someone feels pain and inflicts it on another person, gaining some temporary relief that way. Then that person passes it on, and the next person passes it on. And we are like a relay race, passing the baton of pain to the next person. Even worse, we tend to carry the pain inside, which means we continue spreading it to more people.

We may even say that the pain has taken the human as its host. If the pain is in control, then you are a host to that pain.

Some people who are ruled by the pain of their lives may pass a baton of pain to every person they meet in a day.

Passing on the pain is all we have seen, and all we know. So, of course, we are inclined to do this ourselves. However, inflicting pain may only offer temporary relief. Ending the pain altogether may help offer more permanent peace to more people, as the pain will have nowhere to go.

The pain itself can meet its end and death, but we are reluctant to wake up to that fact. Most of us would even deny that this is possible.

We cling to the idea that if I am wronged, I can also wrong another person.

Can you move beyond that level of thinking, and find it in yourself at some point in your life to say:

“The pain ends here.”

You may think that the pain will become a burden to those who do not inflict it on others. It will eat this person alive, as the pain will become an obsession and wear away at them emotionally.

Why not accept it as your reward in knowing that the pain has dissipated, not needing to travel further around the world and that it ends with you. If you can learn to cope with it and move on, forgive the person who spawned it, and prevent countless other victims from suffering at the hands of it, then wouldn’t that be a great reward on its own?

Ask yourself what the alternative would be? Is it more worthy to end the pain or to perpetuate it?

Even if ending the pain is a challenge, isn’t it a worthy one to rise up to?

Not many people take even a moment to see all the pain in the world, how it unfolds in our lives, how it perpetuates and magnifies, and what little good or use it has done. In many cases, the pain has only served to create more of itself. And we have acted as instruments of it.

Are we born to receive pain and inflict it back onto others? Does that make any sense?

I’m not sure what it takes for anyone to get to a point where they have no desire to spread any pain or get payback for any wrongs committed against them.

But what if you could begin on that path today?

Of course, you do not need to end all the pain that comes your way. That may be too grand of a task and too grand of an expectation.

However, even if you could end some of the pain, especially the petty or needless pain that would go nowhere other than to magnify itself in the world, then that would go a long way toward doing some good.

Solitude is Not the Worst Thing

At some point, you may find yourself alone.

When you take some time to yourself, you get to see what you actually think. You don’t need to worry that you will have a thought that could offend someone. You may find it in you to explore some thoughts more deeply, alone with yourself. Perhaps these are the thoughts that truly mattered to you, that you never found the time to reflect on.

If you train your mind to be peaceful and reasonable, you do not need to see yourself as an unwelcome enemy to be avoided. You can rejoice in the comfort of yourself as your own companion.

Like anything else, solitude is not good on its own and is not to be sought out in excess. But when it happens, understand that this is not the worst thing.

Take it as an opportunity to endure the silence, or the mental chatter if that is what you have, to actually see who you are when no one else is there to expect you to think or behave in one way or another.

Know that in their expectation, they often would guide you into being what they thought you were or should be. Yet you may find that you are not the person you felt the need to be when in their presence.

In solitude, you can seek clarity from everything, for you are not truly alone if you are watching shows, reading the thoughts and beliefs of others, or keeping yourself occupied with busy and needless work.

You are alone when you allow yourself to be aware that you are indeed alone.

When alone, you can take a moment to suspend all the concerns you had regarding other people in your life. You can let them melt away because for the moment they don’t matter.

In your aloneness, you may find that you are always busy, but for what? Most of the time, you were doing things for others, or your fear of how they would react if you didn’t do what was expected. Your mind may have been too preoccupied with others, and not enough with your true self.

Or you may find that you don’t understand this experience of being alone. You had always strayed from it, always been with other people, things, or ideas that didn’t allow you to actually be alone.

There is a good chance that if you aren’t ready to be alone, your mind will quickly recall the times you had with other people. It will aim to fill that feeling of being alone with experiences, even if just simulated in your mind. Then that is something to be aware of – that you do not seem to be ready to be alone. Or perhaps, you need further practice in being alone.

Even if you do allow yourself to remain just with yourself, fully alone, that foreign sense of being with yourself may concern or frighten you.

But why should it? You are not some threat – you are yourself.

And the lack of something to think or do or someone to share an experience with shouldn’t be the worst thing.

There is something worth learning if you would spend just a bit of time alone with yourself, and deal with the temporary pains that may come with it. You may find that you are not the person you thought you were or that being alone helped you to think more clearly. You may find that being with others had actually been a distraction from something that was truly important to you - something you had strayed away from in time.

Alone does not have to mean lonely. It can mean a path to true self-understanding.

When alone, you may find a hidden strength or ability within that you had never perceived before, as in the presence of others, you never needed to tap into it.

Needless to say, there is value in family, friendship, and communication, but it is also well worth learning how to be alone and seeing that there are fruits to be gained with this path as well.

We may perceive being alone as meaning that we have been abandoned, or that we are unworthy. But sometimes it is worth consciously choosing solitude, or embracing it. Yourself is nothing to be feared, after all.

Empty Your Cup

My doctor recently asked me if I had any pre-existing conditions.

But has anyone ever asked you this?:

Do you have any pre-existing ideas?

Do you have any ideas that are affecting your day-to-day life, making it difficult for you to get your work done, to focus, or sleep? Are there any ideas that have caused you to expect bad things to happen all around you? Are there any ideas that have led you into a downward spiral of internal negativity? Are there any ideas that could enable you to hurt someone?

Are there any false ideas that you have allowed to guide you and influence you in your everyday life?

With so many ideas floating around in our lives, it’s difficult to be clear-headed, isn’t it? For anything we look at or anything we do, a flood of ideas comes tumbling in. Some of these ideas we don’t even consciously perceive, but they come flooding in and we drink them up.

But what would it mean if we could just empty the cup that is the mind?

Then perhaps we would find peace, freedom, get rid of our “need” to chase people or things, perhaps gaining clarity and focus.

What if like a child, you could stop having any need for ideas at all?

The young child eats or laughs or touches real things. He has no need for theories, beliefs, or ideas. What is there is what is there, and that is all.

The young child is almost incapable of being contaminated with ideas. But the adult has lost that immunity. We are susceptible to all kinds of ideas.

I am not anti-idea. Of course, there is some value in ideas. But there may be a greater danger in allowing the wrong ideas to lead us astray. That is what we have to watch out for.

It’s tremendously difficult to see the person in front of you, isn’t it, when we are loaded with pre-existing ideas. We are more likely to see a reflection of all our ideas instead of that person. I like this thing about that person, or I don’t like that thing. These are the types of thoughts that we will get reflected back to us based on our preexisting ideas.

Understand that whether the ideas are positive or negative, they are still ideas that lead you to think in particular ways. The pre-existing ideas cloud your ability to see what is actually there, and rather, you see what you had already believed or expected was going to be there.

In looking at the world around us, all that some of us will ever be doing is exploring the nature of our own minds. We see the pre-existing ideas that we hold, present in all the people and things around us. We do not see what is there anymore.

With so many ideas floating in our world - how is anyone supposed to empty the cup?

Some of us may use techniques to empty the cup – such as meditation, yoga, running, or other exercises. The issue is that when you finish with that exercise, the cup fills quickly again.

And if our cup is full, we are just imbibing what is in our own cup, perhaps obsessing over it, looping it in our minds over and over again. When we create stories in our minds, these ideas have truly latched onto us, and we become more and more convinced of them. Then we discuss these stories with others, and maybe we convince them or not. But in telling the stories, we convince ourselves more and more that we are right. We think our ideas are correct, and all the other ones are wrong.

And that feels safe, doesn’t it? It feels safe for us to think we have it figured out. It’s riskier to venture out and try to learn what is actually out there. By learning, I do not refer to acquiring preexisting ideas from others. I refer to an attempt to observe and understand reality, rather than forcing your preexisting ideas upon that reality. But where or when was this ability taught to us? It was not.

It’s risker to think to yourself: Maybe these ideas in my mind don’t actually represent what is happening out there in the world. Maybe these ideas just gave me comfort, but now it could be time to let them go.

Look around with an empty cup, an empty mind, and dare to see what is there, without needing to imbibe it. Perhaps you succeed at emptying your cup for a moment, and you stop in the street to talk to someone. He talks to you and fills you with ideas. Then you talk to someone else, and she fills you with more ideas. And you find it a struggle to let go of all those ideas that you know are not doing you much of any good. At night, your mind is flooded with all the ideas that you learned throughout the day. Perhaps you even dream of them.

So we see, keeping your cup empty is not easy, and you will merely get to inner peace just to lose it again, as new things rush in to fill it. And so the practice becomes to empty your cup at every chance, even when knowing that this process will be disrupted over and over again.

If you learn to keep your cup empty, even for a short while, it will not feel natural. You will resist it. But stay the course and see for yourself what it means to empty your cup. What will happen is just that rather than spreading your pre-existing ideas to the world, you may find that there is a world beyond ideas to fill your cup with. Some may fill it with love or peace or gratitude or hope, rather than ideas, for example. And also, even if your cup is filled with nothing at all, this is not the end of the world.

You can find joy with nothing in your cup. It can be done. Remember that the purpose of emptying your cup was not just to fill it again with another set of preexisting ideas.

Seeing Through

You may arrive at a point of observing someone and knowing what the intent is behind their every word and action. For instance, they want to appear attractive, friendly, interesting, funny, powerful, or wealthy.

Our demeanor and the words we speak reveal what is on our minds. We may not say what we are thinking precisely, but often just through listening and observing, you will come to See Through a person. You may even come to perceive them better than they know themselves.

When we lie or “bend the truth,” often we are doing this for the benefit of ourselves, just as much as we do it for others. But these falsehoods prevent us from truly Seeing at all.

A path to Seeing Through is to lose concern over how you appear to be and to focus entirely on someone else. You may do this by simply wanting to know the truth and exploring every statement that a person makes. Further, you may explore every facial expression, the intonation of voice, and what it is that this person wishes you to see, versus what actually is.

Any statement that deviates even slightly from the pure truth signals an intent. You will see that this person wants you to think something for a particular reason. For example, they exaggerated or implied something was the case when it wasn’t. Their words may have painted a beautiful picture of who they are and what they have done, but perhaps their actions haven’t lived up to their words.

See Through them to see things as they actually are.

And for any statement they make, you may ask what presumptions they have made. With those presumptions, you can quickly understand what beliefs or ideas are so important to them that they have stopped questioning them. They have assumed these things to be true when perhaps they were not.

Any statement at all tends to presuppose something, to assume that something is the case. You simply have to be willing to consider what they are and ask yourself “What assumption is at play here?”. Then you should be aware that the assumption could be wrong.

Seeing Through, essentially, is about taking a small amount of information, and extrapolating abundantly from there, to provide a full picture of where someone is coming from.

Soon enough, in exploring people’s demeanors and the words they say and beyond, you will quickly figure out their intentions. You will know how they want to be perceived and why, and what matters to them. You may know where they came from and where they are headed and why, just from a few words.

When you master the practice of Seeing Through, you will see that what I have said above is what often applies. People want to appear attractive, friendly, interesting, funny, powerful, or wealthy.

Some people may even make efforts to appear superior on all those fronts, perhaps desiring to be seen as better than others.

And strangely, the ones trying to be seen in a certain way have often failed to meet that goal. Otherwise, why would they focus on it so much?

Seeing Through others is an ability we may all acquire in due time, with life experience. But we tend to forget to use that ability on ourselves. We don’t practice Seeing Through our own empty desires to appear to be a certain way.

What do you want to appear to be that is not actually who you are?

See Through Others, and this is worthy, for you will come to see people as they are. See Through Yourself, and this is a higher path, for you will come to see yourself as you are.

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To explore truths about yourself and the world more deeply, you may wish to read Your Personal Truth: A Journey to Discover Your Truth, Become Your True Self, & Live Your Truth. The book is available on Amazon and other major retailers.

The Heaviness of Thoughts

Today, I am light in my thoughts in that I am not particularly preoccupied with any given thought. And this is a privilege, for it means that my needs are taken care of for the day. If they were not taken care of, of course, perhaps I would be thinking of that more. And those thoughts would weigh on me heavily.

However, many people who have their needs taken care of still deal with endless, unhelpful thoughts. Often, we invite a lot of this heaviness in. For example, with the news, media, commercials, nonsense discussions, toxic individuals, and on and on. We open not just our ears and eyes to this useless information, but we open our minds to it, and it becomes a virus that infects us.

An issue with many of our thoughts is that they become giant monuments that we carry on our shoulders. All the thoughts you have ever had or been exposed to are like a giant statue you must carry with you everywhere you go. And the strange thing is that we stop realizing that we carry these with us. We think they are a part of us, but perhaps they are not. Maybe we have chosen to carry them around.

You carry these ideas and add new ones every day, and so every day, you become more sluggish, thinking that you know more but actually know less. In thinking we have accumulated facts and information, we believe ourselves to be smarter, more knowledgeable, or wiser, but we rarely are. What grows more than our knowledge is our mental anguish, as we invite the mental virus to infect us.

And so sometimes, there is nothing wrong with forgetting it all and retreating to a mental space of quiet.

But how do we get there? To tell you to meditate (or exercise or do yoga, etc.) may be futile. Either you do meditate, or you don’t. Either you know how to quiet the mind, or you don’t. Either you are conditioned to attend to thoughts and magnify their importance and obsess over them, or you are not.

It’s not that these patterns are unchangeable, but this change takes commitment, and it takes an awareness that the thoughts may have just led to self-poisoning rather than to clarity and knowing.

Clarity is in the thoughtlessness, where we are not dealing with cobwebs in the mind. You can attend to the few worthy thoughts when you clear those cobwebs. And there are just a few.

Most thoughts are draining, not resolving anything, not leading anywhere, so I have learned to let them go.

Yet, to claim that letting go of thoughts leads to pure bliss or happiness is false.

Aiming for clarity and wishing to reduce unnecessary thoughts can also be exhausting. I find that for every 100 thoughts, either the rethinking of old views I’ve had or being exposed to new information that leads to certain thoughts, over 99% lead nowhere. Yet, I still prefer to move away from those thoughts, rather than to absorb them and concern myself with them.

Think of it. Whether you’ve had one thought per day or a million, what is the difference in the end? I would pity the person who had a million of them and revere the one who only had a single thought, as long as that single thought had been worthy.

Ultimately, we must choose the thoughts that can lift us up.

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If you enjoyed this post and want to learn some of the worthy Thoughts, you may wish to read 7 Thoughts to Live Your Life By: A Guide to the Happy, Peaceful, & Meaningful Life. (on Amazon and other major retailers).

This New Year, Release Yourself (2022)

For anything I think to add to my life, I consider seriously whether it is truly worth doing.

For example, I recently considered applying for “cash back” credit cards. And then I thought just for a moment and realized that in efforts to gain more cashback, I am more likely to spend more. I am more likely to think – I will get some cash back on this purchase anyway, so what harm is there in buying more or getting the more expensive product. As you can see, the goal of saving money can actually result in spending more of it. These companies are not running a charity, so that should not be too surprising.

Similarly, for anything that may take a serious time commitment from me, I tend to think more deeply – will this truly add anything to my life? In efforts to gain some positive outcome, am I just introducing a series of things that bring me dread?

I often find that if I think it through carefully, the things I thought were worth doing, were actually not worth the hassle at all. I feel liberated every time I realize that a task I put on my To-Dos actually isn’t worth doing, and I can just eliminate it.

To put it succinctly…

• If you can make $100,000 but it costs your health or mental health, is it worth it?

• If you can make 10 friends, but these people are a negative influence and only take and never give, is it worth it?

• If you can achieve your dream but must turn your back on your family and friends, is it worth it?

• If you can have people love you, but it’s because they don’t understand anything about you (and have their own false conception of you), is it worth it?

We can’t only look at the benefits we may receive, but also need to consider the costs.

So this year, I wonder what we can release ourselves from that just results in waste, problems, and negativity.

This year, can you release yourself from:

• Needing to feel superior to others?

• Repeating the cycles that have gotten you to the same undesirable point, over and over?

• Hoping or wishing, without taking the necessary actions to get where you want to be?

• Believing certain thoughts in your mind that have done you no good.

• Thinking your way is the only right way.

• Feeling that if you have failed at a task or goal, then this makes you a failure.

• Chasing the new and shiny thing that someone else says you should want.

• Needing to follow or listen to someone else, who likely does not have things figured out as much as it seems they do.

• Needing to add more and more to your life, to the point that you are perpetually exhausted and unsatisfied.

• The changing tides of emotions that make you unbearably upset. (You may think that others cause you to feel these emotions, but you play a role in it too.)

• Overfocusing on the trivial and temporary, and instead allowing yourself to see what actually matters.

Think now: what is the #1 thing worth releasing yourself from?

What will you release yourself from in 2022?

What is that you are sick and tired of from yourself? Is it the excuses, the lack of discipline, the re-creation of the same foolish cycles?

Do these words come to mind?: “New Years Resolution” or “Bucket List” or “Things I Want to Accomplish (But I Secretly Know it Will Never Happen Because I Gave Up).” Perhaps we need to rise above such things.

What I wonder is what it takes for us to be honest with ourselves. What does it take for us to seriously take a look at ourselves and say – “Something went wrong somewhere. What was it?”

What about me, you may say (me, the author). You may think it is easy for me to point the finger at you, but what can I release myself from?

I suppose if I wanted to release myself from something, it would be fear itself.

A few months ago, I began hiking. I bought new shoes and hiking clothes, and I felt ready. But on the first trip into the woods, I got scared. I went to a park with hiking trails that didn’t have any civilization nearby. Then I parked my car in a small lot and walked into the woods. Just a few steps in, I thought – I have no navigation skills, I could get lost here. I wondered if I could survive the night in the woods if needed. The fear was taking over, with irrational thoughts flooding in. But something kept me going.

What I was more uncomfortable with than the fear itself was the idea of letting the fear win over. Despite the feeling of dread that I would get lost and not know my way back, I just kept walking deeper and deeper into the woods. Eventually, I came across a few other hikers. Having seen other humans in the area that didn’t seem scared for their lives helped to put me at ease.

After a short while – I forgot about the fear. I was even beginning to enjoy nature and this pleasant walk.

Ultimately, everything went well on my hiking trip. I spent a couple of hours there, and I found my way back to the car without any problem. At first, the place seemed like a maze, but then I realized that many of the trails split up at certain points and then met up again. It was not so difficult to navigate the area with a bit of attention and focus.

The problem with fear is that if it isn’t one thing, it’s another. You may find yourself scared of not getting the promotion, but the thought of getting it also worries you. Or you may fear distracted drivers on their phones in the daytime, and distracted drivers who had too much to drink in the nighttime. When we really think about fear, it’s hard to get away from it. Perhaps even comically, some of us may fear death, but we also fear to truly live.

It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of fearing things, situations, or even people. Before you think I don’t fear anything – I’m doing fine, keep in mind that anxiety and worry are all a part of it. Fear is quite common – I’m guessing you and everyone you know has some anxiety, worry, and fear affecting their lives.

Similar events as the hiking one I mentioned have played out in my life so many times that I feel foolish for having to relearn the same lesson again and again. If you push through the fear, you often see that there was nothing there even to get scared of. The mind itself overreacts and comes up with thoughts and beliefs that drive us further into fear.

Even if something had gone wrong on my hiking trip, there were other hikers around that could help if I needed it. And my phone had GPS on it if I got lost and needed to find my way back to the parking lot. Of course, even if I had a serious situation come up, I could have called for help with my phone. Even if the things we fear do come true, there is often still a path forward. We just need to keep a level-headed mind. Someone who panics can make even a tame situation into a dangerous one, after all.

Whether fear or something else, I wish you would find something to release yourself from this year. But the reality is that to get to the point of being ready to release ourselves from something, we usually need to get fed up with where we are.

In my case, I was more irritated by the feelings of succumbing to the fear than I was by the fear itself. But who can teach you to get to that point? Who can show you the way? That is the path inside yourself that no one else could reveal.

Surely, for someone who has found contentment in the problems of their lives, they will relive them every year. If they never get fed up, then there is nothing for them to change. And that is simply the nature of things.

And that reminds me of one of the other things I have released myself from. I do not need you to listen, follow, or even agree with my words. I am at peace with whatever effect or non-effect these words may have.

This year, release yourself from one thing, then the other, then the next, and eventually see that you will be free from it all. You will be RELEASED, finding the freedom to be what you always were, in your own nature.

I Have Arrived

As surely as I was born, I am here now.

Just as life’s goal for me then was to arrive, it is such now.

And just as the goal of that arrival was to live, it is such now.

And just as the goal of birth was to arrive at death, it is such now, too.

And thus, life’s goal is to be born, to live, and to perish.

The commonality among these is that the goal is to arrive.

One arrives at birth, here where one was before not here.

One arrives at life, present at a moment that was before not here.

One arrives at death, to life after life, to what was before not here.

But how can we arrive at the here and now, when perpetually reminded of all we lack?

How can we arrive when we anticipate where we will be, at every turn?

How can we arrive when we see some things as good and others as bad, and tend to aim for more of the good and less of the bad, perpetually.

How can we arrive when arrival is seen as no better than any other thing?

Let’s speak of the paths that lead away from arrival, of which there are many:

It is the idea of not having what someone else has. Then you are wishing and striving, and you have not arrived.

It is the idea that you need to get somewhere by doing something. Then you are living a life of doing that leads to more doing, and you have not arrived.

It is the idea that you must do one more thing, and then you will be done. Then you are doing one more thing, which leads to doing one more thing, and you have not arrived.

It is the idea that a good person must do this or that, or have this or that. Then you have created a formula for living that has no end, and you have not arrived.

It is the idea that you are the one who knows the right way to tell others and lead them to something. Then you presume to be a chosen one, and without you, the people will not know what to do, and you have not arrived.

It is the idea that you must produce a certain amount to be worthy. Then, there will always be more to produce, or an unexpected problem or illness will make you feel worthless, and you have not arrived.

It is the idea that to fill your mind with certain ideas is a worthy path. Then, there will always be newer, more precise ideas to learn, making your old ones unworthy, and you have not arrived.

You may wonder, is there really a way to arrive?

That, I do not know.

I have not arrived, and I do not know who has. It may be your neighbor, schoolteacher, priest, or scholar, or it may be none.

But the paths outlined before us in this life do not lead us to arrive. The paths made available to us were created by those who never arrived. This is something to consider.

There never was a path to arrive at anything, not one that we were consciously going to locate and set out on, anyway.

In striving for anything, this is an acknowledgment that we have not arrived and probably never will. To strive is to aim to be where you are not, which shows you have not arrived.

To arrive would mean to have let go of the need to grasp or let go.

It would mean to let go of the need to advance or retreat.

It would mean to let go of the need to help or hinder.

It would mean to let go of the need to participate or spectate.

It would mean letting go of the need to create or preserve an image of yourself or the desire to abandon it.

It would mean to let go of the need for praise and be unconcerned with criticism.

It would mean to let go of the need for success and be unconcerned with failure.

To arrive would likely mean to find it in you not to be concerned with the idea of arrival, as it is just another idea. In striving for arrival, like anything else, you would just be proving the fact that you had not arrived.

Say to yourself, “I have arrived,” and see that you do not believe it and that it has not happened.

Or say to yourself, “I have arrived,” and see that you do believe it and that it has happened.

And upon arrival, if you see this as an accomplishment, you can see that you have not arrived. You will feel the need to meet that accomplishment, again and again, proving that you have not arrived. To pursue something is to prove that you do not have it.

I

HAVE

ARRIVED

I am the Seeker Who Does Not Seek

For the longest time, I was looking for answers,

To philosophical questions.

Why are we here?

What is our purpose?

How should I live my life?

What is Good?

What should society aim for?

And I gradually found answers to some of these questions and more.

But the answers for one person do not necessarily satisfy the needs of all.

At some point, I became content with not knowing all I had wished to know.

Moreover, I accepted that I would never know those things.

I could seek true knowledge for this life and another life and another, and I will still want to know more.

And one thing I learned is that the pursuit of anything has no end, as one feels the need for more anyway.

If one has more power, one wants more.

If one has more love, one wants more.

If one has more money, one wants more.

And knowledge is no different.

I read enough books where each new one barely adds anything new to what I have already learned.

Asked enough questions to where each new one barely adds to the findings of a prior one.

Sought enough answers to know that anyone is willing to give them, making them worth little.

I was always the seeker, unsatisfied with my present knowledge, with the state of understanding of the people, books, and so forth.

And still, I am not satisfied with it, but I am content in knowing that I ventured to learn what I needed most and am working to do something with that.

Having come to know that I will never get to where I wanted to be, I still seek something, not knowing what it is.

I have sought to no longer seek, which is still seeking. Pursuing the end of all pursuits is still a pursuit.

Letting go of the need to seek or not seek, to pursue or not pursue, seems to be the path to somewhere. Like a wormhole that can transport you to another dimension, this may open up new paths we had not been aware of. When not focused on moving toward or away from something, there may be more energy to get through it.

This is a path rarely heard of and much more rarely taken.