I am the Seeker Who Does Not Seek

For the longest time, I was looking for answers,

To philosophical questions.

Why are we here?

What is our purpose?

How should I live my life?

What is Good?

What should society aim for?

And I gradually found answers to some of these questions and more.

But the answers for one person do not necessarily satisfy the needs of all.

At some point, I became content with not knowing all I had wished to know.

Moreover, I accepted that I would never know those things.

I could seek true knowledge for this life and another life and another, and I will still want to know more.

And one thing I learned is that the pursuit of anything has no end, as one feels the need for more anyway.

If one has more power, one wants more.

If one has more love, one wants more.

If one has more money, one wants more.

And knowledge is no different.

I read enough books where each new one barely adds anything new to what I have already learned.

Asked enough questions to where each new one barely adds to the findings of a prior one.

Sought enough answers to know that anyone is willing to give them, making them worth little.

I was always the seeker, unsatisfied with my present knowledge, with the state of understanding of the people, books, and so forth.

And still, I am not satisfied with it, but I am content in knowing that I ventured to learn what I needed most and am working to do something with that.

Having come to know that I will never get to where I wanted to be, I still seek something, not knowing what it is.

I have sought to no longer seek, which is still seeking. Pursuing the end of all pursuits is still a pursuit.

Letting go of the need to seek or not seek, to pursue or not pursue, seems to be the path to somewhere. Like a wormhole that can transport you to another dimension, this may open up new paths we had not been aware of. When not focused on moving toward or away from something, there may be more energy to get through it.

This is a path rarely heard of and much more rarely taken.