The Paradox of the Model Citizen

The paradox of the model citizen is that he has to know all the rules (e.g., laws, ordinances, regulations, etc.), and these rules are constantly growing, adapting, and changing – making it impossible to know them all. Then he has to obey all these rules unless it is more appropriate not to follow the rule. Rules that may be broken are those that are completely trivial or those which are unjust in their purpose. For example, the model citizen should not follow a trivial rule that gets in the way of his ability to be a productive model citizen. He should try to follow the trivial rules, but only within reason.

Also, if a rule is unjust, such as a rule that is prejudiced against some people, he has the right to defy that rule in as civil a manner as possible. However, by the nature of the rules themselves, he will likely be punished if he is caught violating a trivial rule or violating an unjust rule.

At times, the model citizen may be confronted with a situation where he must break one rule or another. In such cases, he should break the more trivial rule rather than, the more severe one. Other times, rules from one entity may conflict with the rules of another. Either way, he is in a paradox because he must choose to break a rule nonetheless. And model citizens should choose not to break any rules.

The model citizen is placed in paradoxical situations where he must defy some rules at least sometimes, meaning that he is not the model citizen. However, the model citizen that does not defy the rules is not a model citizen either because he is the fool who follows all the rules and gets in the way of society operating properly.

For example, imagine a citizen who refuses to leave a store until he receives his 12 cents in change from the cashier, even if the cashier has explained that he ran out of change. In this case, a person would be within his right to demand his change, but it is completely unreasonable. This would be especially unreasonable if this person were holding up a long line behind him.

As another example, consider a citizen who goes to the bank and wants to open a new account. The banker may say that he must sign a 25-page document to open the account. If he were actually to read it, though, the banker and surely everyone who works there would consider him a complete fool. Who would even consider wasting so much time reading this document? A model citizen may consider it, but that is the model citizen paradox, where the model citizen actually accomplishes nothing and wastes time by being the model citizen.

The true model citizen probably does not demand his 12 cents and probably does not read the 25-page document at the bank, even though such actions defy the rules or allow them to be defied.

The true model citizen values his time and ability to accomplish some good in this world. And that cannot be done if he is obsessed with every minor rule that can be used against him. The unfortunate part is that model citizens will be most concerned and worried about breaking every rule. They don’t want to tarnish their record of always following the rules. Yet, to get anything done in their lives, they must occasionally defy those rules.

Thus far, I have not even factored in all the social, implicit, unwritten rules of society.

For example:

• How many times is it appropriate to go to the restroom during the day?

• How often should you go out with friends?

• How much money should you make?

• How many friends should you have?

• How many decorations should you have in your home?

• How should you greet an acquaintance?

• How much time should you spend talking when you are in a group?

If we are overwhelmed by the official written rules, there are plenty of unwritten ones as well. Popular or likable people tend to follow these social rules well. Likewise, the model citizen will wish to follow these rules, as he values the general idea of rule-following.

The model citizen values rule-following because it helps to keep order in society. Order is good because the better you behave, the better outcomes you receive. For those unwilling to follow or obey rules, they will receive worse outcomes typically. The model citizen also values rule-following because he does not want to get in trouble for disobeying a rule. When you follow the rules, you avoid unwanted consequences. Lastly, the model citizen values rule-following because this allows him to have a more respectable and higher level in the social world. People who do not follow the rules tend to be viewed as less intelligent, troublemakers, and possibly criminals.

The problem here is that the model citizen who is too rule-focused will lose his identity. He will become obsessive about needing to follow every rule, and those rules will dictate his behaviors. He may avoid doing much because the more you do, the more likely you will break some rule, even if you were not aware of that rule.

The model citizen, in time, may lose his personal will or energy. His motivation becomes to avoid breaking the rules rather than to be his true self.

The reality is that there are so many rules at so many different levels that it would be almost impossible to avoid breaking them all – there are city, state, and federal laws. There is international law. There are rules and regulations at your workplace and every other building or organization you interact with. If you live in a gated community or apartment, they will have their own rules and regulations. If you have kids, their school has rules. And as already mentioned, there are countless unwritten social rules and expectations.

The model citizen will, of course, realize that the most critical rules are usually obvious: such as not killing, stealing, causing damage to property, drug dealing or drug use, or causing the most obvious forms of trouble.

But we should be aware that if we focus too much on rules, we may lose who we are. Rather than being who we are, we will come to avoid being who they don’t want us to be. Being who you are is different than avoiding being.

Consider the social rules that may dictate much of human behavior. Of course, etiquette is valuable in society, as this helps us to avoid being rude and hurting feelings. However, if everyone followed etiquette perfectly, where would we find personality? Isn’t personality in the nuances of how we choose or do not choose to follow etiquette?

Ask yourself: are you being you, or are you avoiding being something else?

Rules tell us what we should not be. And while these are valuable limits, especially when it comes to serious crimes or misdeeds, I don’t think we were meant to be shackled by rules everywhere we go.

For example – it is a basic social rule that we should be considerate of others. Yet, the rules are not human and not considerate of us. At some point, there are so many rules, and some of them trivial or not well known, that the rules themselves become an inconsiderate imposition on our lives.

Also, becoming obsessive about too many rules may end up creating a self-limiting mind, always focused on what we can’t and shouldn’t do, rather than on what we can and should do. If you focus on what you can’t do every day, that ends up being all you can see. Your creative abilities end up being used only for thinking about what you can’t do, rather than actually being used for their true creative purposes of coming up with new and interesting possibilities.

We need the rules – that is not in debate. However, we have so many rules that we create the paradox of the model citizen. The model citizen cannot be the model citizen. We cannot find the model citizen because he defies himself by trying to be one.

What can we do about this? Ignoring or disobeying the rules is not the answer. Rather than becoming obsessive about the rules, however, we could develop our own conscience, our sense of truths and values, and what is right. I’m not sure that we need written rules to know what is right from wrong. Thoughts or actions can actually feel wrong in your body, such as the “gut feeling.” We should listen to those to help us avoid what is wrong and move toward rightness. Do not give way to impulse – rather, listen to the deep-seated human feelings from within.

Ultimately, we should aim to take more right actions. This means that when we are presented with options or choices, we aim to do what creates more good for ourselves and the world. In this way, we can operate beyond rules and the idea of the model citizen.

The model human may be the one who knows his truth best and who demonstrates this through every action. He would not focus on not doing (e.g., obeying rules). Rather he would focus on being who he is and needs to be (e.g., doing what is true to yourself and right becomes the most worthy path).