Make Value Instead of Just Taking It

As tax season is here, I’ve been thinking about money and finances. I am in a new tax situation since I moved back to the US last year, so I searched for the most effective CPA (Certified Public Accountant) for my needs, and that offered the lowest rate.

I’ve made some mistakes when it comes to hiring companies in the past. I repeated a pattern many times of looking for the one with the best reviews. Unfortunately, I’ve come to find that reviews are often bought and paid for. Many businesses like myself do things the right way, but unfortunately, the ones that do not end up casting doubt on all of us.

One time, I spoke with the marketing consultant of a car shop. She gave me a ride home while my car was being repaired. On that ride, she offered me $50 to write a positive review for the car shop. I ended up declining, as it didn’t feel right. She had so little faith in the business she worked for. If she had just asked me, I probably would have done it for free. The business did provide a good service, after all.

Lately, whenever I buy anything from Amazon, the manufacturer sends a note to my address asking for a review. One even had the gall to send me a link that would automatically fill in a 5-star rating for them. I quickly unclicked the 5-star rating and left the site. As an author, I know the dire need for reviews. We must get noticed, or we are destined to fail. But there is no need to trick people into leaving a positive review.

Have a bit of patience. If your product or service is truly that good, people will notice.

So if not reviews, how do we decide on who to hire? Well, I have twice hired big roofing companies to do some repair work. In both cases, I realized that all these companies did was hire independent workers to get the job done. I’ve noticed this pattern with other big companies I’ve hired. They end up hiring people who will do the work cheaply. And often, much of the rest goes to advertising or potentially even paying for reviews to ensure they have a steady stream of customers willing to pay the big bucks.

One of these roofing companies failed to complete much of the work properly. I noticed mistake after mistake and called them back so they would finish the job properly. Even if you pay a lot of money to a company, you should still check their work. Sometimes receiving their pay is the primary concern, rather than doing a good job.

Recently, when I hired my CPA, I avoided big companies or firms with a variety of CPAs and tax advisors working for them. Instead, I looked for an independent worker. The one I ended up going with only had one review on Google, but I figured maybe his rates would actually be reasonable. When I gave him a call, he immediately found a deduction I can take that will actually more than cover the fee I end up paying him. I did call some bigger companies to see what would happen. They charged twice as much as him, and none of them mentioned this large deduction I was eligible for. He has spent at least an hour of his time just on phone calls with me and will not charge me for this. A big company either won’t offer that at all or will charge for such consultations.

The real topic I want to discuss today is making value. What does that mean? The way society works now, many of us want to funnel as much money into our own bank accounts as possible. Realistically, who wouldn’t like to have more money? And who wouldn’t like to get it without having to work more for it? The problem is that this mindset isn’t about making value. It’s about taking it.

The “taking value” mindset at its worst becomes about putting in the minimum effort, shifting blame onto others when things go wrong, taking credit when things go right, charging for every possible thing you can charge for even if it burdens the client, and generally putting your income first and the client last.

When we do this, who are we shortcutting, exactly? If significant chunks of the population work this way, then society itself is being robbed.

If someone pays $1,000 for a CPA that will have his assistant do the taxes cheaply, for a true value of about $200, then that CPA is just considered smart in our society. If he does this and it works, and clients continue to pay him, it seems no one is really losing here. But what if that CPA goes to the market, and he buys some apples that are on sale. They’re half price. But when he gets home, half of them have worms in them. The other half are fine. So it turns out he paid full price for these apples because half had gone bad. And if it were me, I’d throw them all out, as I would have lost faith in them.

You may think that these two scenarios demonstrate the same idea, but one involves much more money.

But it’s not the same thing at all. In the scenario above, the CPA who charged $1,000 for a $200 service got away with taking value. No one really noticed that he sucked $800 into his pockets without doing the work.

With the market scenario, a business that sold apples on sale with worms in them would probably lose customers quite fast. I would certainly doubt the quality of my market if that ever happened to me. So, the value hasn’t been taken there. Not in the long-term, anyway. The market owner may have made extra money on a transaction but lost a customer for the long haul.

But lately, I wonder how many people in society have successfully found ways to take value from us? They take value from society, but of course, it is legal because clients have willingly paid up. In some cases, this taking of value may be seen in what we call “hidden fees,” where you sign a 20-page contract with a company and then are surprised at all of the fees you unknowingly agreed to pay. Another example may be with companies that take your money upfront for a service, then they do not provide the promised service, and they refuse to give a refund. And, of course, some companies try to hook you on recurring fees, then if you stop using the service, they still happily keep charging you.

The above cases are clear cut and involve taking value. But unfortunately, sometimes, it can be difficult to know when value is taken and how much of it is taken. The simple argument I always hear is that if someone is willing to pay a certain amount for a service, then that is what it is worth. Well, sure, but it’s not always that simple. If you are an expert, you are supposed to know what your service is truly worth. A naïve client with a lack of experience in a field will have difficulty knowing whether he is truly getting what he paid for. Sometimes, a naïve client will pay more than a service is worth, but he would never have paid it if he had known that.

I would urge us to look for more ways to make value, rather than always needing to take it. This is an odd thing to even think about because phrased another way, I’m asking you if you can find a way to make less money.

Most people I know, especially business people, are focused on earning more, which becomes a key motivator. But to make sure we are making value rather than just taking it, sometimes we should ask if we could earn less money and if that would still be okay. Or, to view this a different way, can you provide more value than what you are getting paid for, and is that still okay?

I’m sure that my proposal of “making value” can become frustrating for those paid at the lower ends. Perhaps you have a boss that already pays you low wages. To go the extra mile and provide more value seems practically foolish. Why would you do this? Well, in that situation, I wouldn’t think about your boss as much as I would think about the clients involved. The clients are real people who need your help, presumably.

Set aside thoughts about whether you are being paid properly, and be a real person for the clients that you are there to help. Perhaps you don’t work with clients directly – that is fine too. If you work with products, those products will eventually make their way to clients. Then focus on making the best products that you can.

We are in a pandemic right now. I hate to see that some of us will lose our humanity, striving to take value rather than make it. People need our humanity to shine through now, more than ever.

One of my insurance providers connects me with the same real individual every time I have any concern or question. And this person, Trevor, treats me like a real human being. He is there to help me with anything and make me feel comfortable and happy with the service. The service he provides extends beyond just being about the insurance itself. It is about being a real person and providing a positive and valuable experience. Sometimes when I call him, it feels like I’m chatting with an old friend who happens to work in insurance.

I have gotten about 10 messages from competitors telling me that I qualify for a lower rate than what this insurance provider is giving me. But I decided that I trust Trevor and the service he provides. I’m convinced that Trevor and his company are about making value and not just taking it away. And by the way, Trevor works at a very large company, so it’s not impossible for big companies to make value. Unfortunately, it’s just rare.

Ask yourself if you’re making value or just taking it away. Generally, those who earn less money are making more value. Those who we find the need to thank for their work are often making more value than they are paid for. If this is you, keep looking for ways to make value.

Those who make more money should consider if they are making as much value as they can. Are you more focused on billing for everything that you possibly can, perhaps with hidden fees, or are you focused on actually providing a service that makes clients happy and feeling good about the work you provided?

Something intriguing to me about our society is that often the ones making the most value for all of us will be the ones who receive the least compensation for their efforts. And the ones who focus all their energy on taking value at every step of the way are often rewarded for this, earning more and more. But that pattern does not make it right. We should consider if we can make a change, somehow.

As we are in a pandemic, one way to make value is to consider if some people cannot afford your service due to their personal hardships. In such cases, can you offer a lower rate to some people who are in need? Can you afford to work for free in a few rare cases? If you work at a company and cannot work for free, can you offer free guidance or help on the weekends? Even if you do this occasionally, it is still a way to make value.

Every day, I aim to put my dollars in places that focus more on making value, not just taking it. I would urge you to spend your money on givers, not just takers. When you see a business that does not seem to care about the customers and wants to make a lot of money without caring how they do it, start looking for another place to spend your money.

From Convenient Good to Higher Good

Good people will regularly battle between doing good that is convenient versus doing the higher good. Higher good involves doing what is truly good in itself. This may mean giving or helping someone even if you don’t have that much to give. Convenient good will mean mainly doing good when it is convenient for you, or only when it provides some benefits for yourself.

As part of a higher good, someone may be willing to give or donate to a cause anonymously. When it comes to convenient good, someone may refuse to give unless they will be recognized for this “kind act.”

Let’s explore these ideas further. If we view ourselves as good people, at some point, we have to ask ourselves:

“Am I willing to help someone even if it isn’t convenient for me?”

Because truthfully, is it ever convenient to put your day’s plans on hold to help someone else? When someone needs help, it is often because they did not expect to need that help. Perhaps their car broke down, or they became sick unexpectedly or struggled to deal with a death in the family.

It can become convenient to avoid noticing one type of problem in our day-to-day lives, then another, then another, and soon enough, we are only concerned just with ourselves. It seems overwhelming to consider all the problems that everyone is going through, so we decide to forget them.

In time, we may end up blind to the problems right in front of us or expect someone else to deal with them. Larger and larger issues end up becoming the types of things that we don’t think about, don’t worry about, and don’t even see anymore. It becomes convenient to ignore them.

Maybe it is time that we wake up to the issues happening right around us every day.

Even at the level of our own families, perhaps it is easier to ignore their complaints or daily issues, so we keep living out our convenient lives, day by day. Some people who get too comfortable and refuse to truly listen and understand their partners may be surprised when they appear to “suddenly” want a divorce. We get used to ignoring and avoiding so many problems in the world around us that eventually, this ends up being the same approach or attitude we have with our own families.

We somehow come to believe that “Someone, somewhere will take care of this,” and we absolve ourselves of all responsibility.

Sometimes we lie to ourselves and say that we can only do so much. Sure, we all have limitations, but we tend to settle for doing little, and then we claim that we have done so much.

It’s easy to lie to ourselves and claim that we are doing what is truly good. But is it just convenient for you at that moment?

Do you take the time to stretch beyond yourself and sometimes do something good that is not convenient?

Ask yourself some questions today:

• Can I dedicate a bit more time to truly listening to someone’s problem?

• Can I give something more to someone in need, even if it costs me time or money?

• Can I take a few minutes to help a stranger in need today?

• Can I be more observant and try to see when someone truly needs help?

• Can I offer to help someone and truly mean it? This means not just wanting to appear to be polite.

• Can I afford to lose some of my free time to help someone?

• Can I call someone who is going through a crisis to check up on them?

• What are my strengths or areas where I may be able to help someone?

• Have I been assuming that I could not offer much to help people when perhaps I did have a lot to offer?

Don’t just think of these things, but actually aim to do something about it. Can we find it in ourselves to be someone’s hero today? Perhaps, in the end, it won’t cost us as much as we would think. It may just be a minor inconvenience. Or seeing the gratitude and relief on someone’s face may make it all worthwhile, causing no inconvenience at all.

Let’s do something that is a higher good today, even if it isn’t always convenient.

The Paradox of the Model Citizen

The paradox of the model citizen is that he has to know all the rules (e.g., laws, ordinances, regulations, etc.), and these rules are constantly growing, adapting, and changing – making it impossible to know them all. Then he has to obey all these rules unless it is more appropriate not to follow the rule. Rules that may be broken are those that are completely trivial or those which are unjust in their purpose. For example, the model citizen should not follow a trivial rule that gets in the way of his ability to be a productive model citizen. He should try to follow the trivial rules, but only within reason.

Also, if a rule is unjust, such as a rule that is prejudiced against some people, he has the right to defy that rule in as civil a manner as possible. However, by the nature of the rules themselves, he will likely be punished if he is caught violating a trivial rule or violating an unjust rule.

At times, the model citizen may be confronted with a situation where he must break one rule or another. In such cases, he should break the more trivial rule rather than, the more severe one. Other times, rules from one entity may conflict with the rules of another. Either way, he is in a paradox because he must choose to break a rule nonetheless. And model citizens should choose not to break any rules.

The model citizen is placed in paradoxical situations where he must defy some rules at least sometimes, meaning that he is not the model citizen. However, the model citizen that does not defy the rules is not a model citizen either because he is the fool who follows all the rules and gets in the way of society operating properly.

For example, imagine a citizen who refuses to leave a store until he receives his 12 cents in change from the cashier, even if the cashier has explained that he ran out of change. In this case, a person would be within his right to demand his change, but it is completely unreasonable. This would be especially unreasonable if this person were holding up a long line behind him.

As another example, consider a citizen who goes to the bank and wants to open a new account. The banker may say that he must sign a 25-page document to open the account. If he were actually to read it, though, the banker and surely everyone who works there would consider him a complete fool. Who would even consider wasting so much time reading this document? A model citizen may consider it, but that is the model citizen paradox, where the model citizen actually accomplishes nothing and wastes time by being the model citizen.

The true model citizen probably does not demand his 12 cents and probably does not read the 25-page document at the bank, even though such actions defy the rules or allow them to be defied.

The true model citizen values his time and ability to accomplish some good in this world. And that cannot be done if he is obsessed with every minor rule that can be used against him. The unfortunate part is that model citizens will be most concerned and worried about breaking every rule. They don’t want to tarnish their record of always following the rules. Yet, to get anything done in their lives, they must occasionally defy those rules.

Thus far, I have not even factored in all the social, implicit, unwritten rules of society.

For example:

• How many times is it appropriate to go to the restroom during the day?

• How often should you go out with friends?

• How much money should you make?

• How many friends should you have?

• How many decorations should you have in your home?

• How should you greet an acquaintance?

• How much time should you spend talking when you are in a group?

If we are overwhelmed by the official written rules, there are plenty of unwritten ones as well. Popular or likable people tend to follow these social rules well. Likewise, the model citizen will wish to follow these rules, as he values the general idea of rule-following.

The model citizen values rule-following because it helps to keep order in society. Order is good because the better you behave, the better outcomes you receive. For those unwilling to follow or obey rules, they will receive worse outcomes typically. The model citizen also values rule-following because he does not want to get in trouble for disobeying a rule. When you follow the rules, you avoid unwanted consequences. Lastly, the model citizen values rule-following because this allows him to have a more respectable and higher level in the social world. People who do not follow the rules tend to be viewed as less intelligent, troublemakers, and possibly criminals.

The problem here is that the model citizen who is too rule-focused will lose his identity. He will become obsessive about needing to follow every rule, and those rules will dictate his behaviors. He may avoid doing much because the more you do, the more likely you will break some rule, even if you were not aware of that rule.

The model citizen, in time, may lose his personal will or energy. His motivation becomes to avoid breaking the rules rather than to be his true self.

The reality is that there are so many rules at so many different levels that it would be almost impossible to avoid breaking them all – there are city, state, and federal laws. There is international law. There are rules and regulations at your workplace and every other building or organization you interact with. If you live in a gated community or apartment, they will have their own rules and regulations. If you have kids, their school has rules. And as already mentioned, there are countless unwritten social rules and expectations.

The model citizen will, of course, realize that the most critical rules are usually obvious: such as not killing, stealing, causing damage to property, drug dealing or drug use, or causing the most obvious forms of trouble.

But we should be aware that if we focus too much on rules, we may lose who we are. Rather than being who we are, we will come to avoid being who they don’t want us to be. Being who you are is different than avoiding being.

Consider the social rules that may dictate much of human behavior. Of course, etiquette is valuable in society, as this helps us to avoid being rude and hurting feelings. However, if everyone followed etiquette perfectly, where would we find personality? Isn’t personality in the nuances of how we choose or do not choose to follow etiquette?

Ask yourself: are you being you, or are you avoiding being something else?

Rules tell us what we should not be. And while these are valuable limits, especially when it comes to serious crimes or misdeeds, I don’t think we were meant to be shackled by rules everywhere we go.

For example – it is a basic social rule that we should be considerate of others. Yet, the rules are not human and not considerate of us. At some point, there are so many rules, and some of them trivial or not well known, that the rules themselves become an inconsiderate imposition on our lives.

Also, becoming obsessive about too many rules may end up creating a self-limiting mind, always focused on what we can’t and shouldn’t do, rather than on what we can and should do. If you focus on what you can’t do every day, that ends up being all you can see. Your creative abilities end up being used only for thinking about what you can’t do, rather than actually being used for their true creative purposes of coming up with new and interesting possibilities.

We need the rules – that is not in debate. However, we have so many rules that we create the paradox of the model citizen. The model citizen cannot be the model citizen. We cannot find the model citizen because he defies himself by trying to be one.

What can we do about this? Ignoring or disobeying the rules is not the answer. Rather than becoming obsessive about the rules, however, we could develop our own conscience, our sense of truths and values, and what is right. I’m not sure that we need written rules to know what is right from wrong. Thoughts or actions can actually feel wrong in your body, such as the “gut feeling.” We should listen to those to help us avoid what is wrong and move toward rightness. Do not give way to impulse – rather, listen to the deep-seated human feelings from within.

Ultimately, we should aim to take more right actions. This means that when we are presented with options or choices, we aim to do what creates more good for ourselves and the world. In this way, we can operate beyond rules and the idea of the model citizen.

The model human may be the one who knows his truth best and who demonstrates this through every action. He would not focus on not doing (e.g., obeying rules). Rather he would focus on being who he is and needs to be (e.g., doing what is true to yourself and right becomes the most worthy path).