Every Moment Presents a Choice

The new year is upon us.

But today, rather than reflect on the prior year or plans for the future, I think we could use a reminder of a power we have always had.

That is the power to choose the direction of our lives, every moment of every day.

Sure, there is a life path we have found ourselves on through having created it, stumbled upon it, or found ourselves in it through necessity.

For better or worse, this is the reality of our lives.

Yet we always have choices.

A thought that has occurred to me is that many of us don’t truly understand the number of choices available to us in a given day.

Consider this: A dear friend once criticized me upon realizing that in a day we spent together, he had made every decision about what we did. He got tired of it, and he asked me:

Have you even made a single choice today?

His question made me realize that every moment of that day had presented me with a choice. I could go along the easy route with the path unfolding before me, or I could fight against it.

Neither way is necessarily better than the other, but that is the key, predominant choice of our lives. Flow along with the stream of destiny, or work to create your own path.

I explained to my friend that I had made countless choices that day, all of which involved doing what he wanted to do and spending time with him. Even in that moment of discussion, I had chosen to continue our conversation rather than part ways.

Every moment is a choice.

It so happens that with me, when everything is going well, I don’t fight the path in front of me. I allow it to unfold as it does, to take me where it flows, but I am still choosing that.

But what about when your life’s path presents more and more obstacles, and you dread what lies ahead?

In such cases, we must use the power we have to make a choice.

Even if you made a mistake, and for 100 moments in a day, you chose to continue along a futile, unrewarding, miserable path, you still have the power at any moment to change that.

Every moment of every day gives you the opportunity to change it all around.

Even when it comes to mental states – if, in the course of a day, you find yourself unhappy and bored, you can ask what choices led you to that. And if you make new choices in a different direction, can you begin to find the happiness and stimulation that you need?

Taking things further, even our beliefs about ourselves or the world, and thus the emotional states that may follow can be a choice.

Here is a belief some people may hold:

I believe I have little power, and my life’s path has been decided by my parents, the government, or society.

The issue with that belief would be that it completely nullifies your ability to choose your life’s path. If you are willing to accept your power of choice in every moment of every day and do something with it, then you have that power in you.

However, if you are not willing to accept that you have that power, then you do not have it. You have taken your own power away, then.

Consider this: How many choices or opportunities for change do we get in the course of a day?

Let’s say a moment is equal to a second. Then that would mean that in your waking hours, or 16 hours, there are 57,600 moments where you can make a choice. That is quite a few….

Those are 57,600 opportunities where you can choose to continue along a path or to seek a new one. To use your own judgment or pursue a mentor to guide you. To rely on the same habitual ways of believing and behaving or to pave a new path of being. To value time and use it wisely, or waste it on nonsense. To help yourself or another, or help no one.

Even to reflect on your choices or not, or to write down what you have learned or not are choices you get to make.

The choices are seemingly infinite. Yet there is always a choice.

Of course, it’s easier to blame others and say they are at fault for the setbacks in our lives. And perhaps other people are at fault, to some extent. But complaining, obsessing, or stressing about that does nothing for your progress.

In fact, if you get hung up on how others are at fault, you are the one who has chosen to delay your own life’s progress.

So, of course, we must avoid that and accept our power to choose every moment of every day.

How can you use your power of choice?:

When your time is being wasted, with nothing to gain from it, choose to use it on something more beneficial. Or at least decide to avoid such wasted time in the future.

When you are disrespected and unappreciated, choose to pursue better people to spend your time with.

When you have been treated unjustly, choose to speak up rather than ignore the issue.

When you have made horrible mistakes, choose to learn and improve.

When someone needs help, choose to help if you can.

Choose to see the good in people and situations and not just the bad that is there.

Some of us who do not use our power of choice may not know what we want. In that case, we should reflect on what we believe to be truly important.

For example: Family, Peace, Success, Love, Happiness, Mastery, Knowledge, Awareness, Service, Giving, Truth, and so on. What is most important to you?

Then ask, are your choices helping you to create the life you ultimately want to live? And are you taking advantage of all the choices available to you at every moment in time?

Of course, the point here is not to get overwhelmed with so many choices, as who really needs 57,600 choices? The point is this:

Realize that every moment of your life is a moment of true possibility, where your life can begin to unfold in a new direction of your choosing.

What better time to reflect on that, and to truly understand it and make it a way of life, than the new year, here and now….

---

Big Audiobook Promotion

I would like to announce that most of my audiobooks are now discounted to 70% off on Spotify, Google Play, Chirp, Barnes & Noble, and Apple. If you listen to audiobooks, this is an excellent deal to take advantage of to start the new year! (This promotion lasts until 3/31/23)

This New Year, Release Yourself (2022)

For anything I think to add to my life, I consider seriously whether it is truly worth doing.

For example, I recently considered applying for “cash back” credit cards. And then I thought just for a moment and realized that in efforts to gain more cashback, I am more likely to spend more. I am more likely to think – I will get some cash back on this purchase anyway, so what harm is there in buying more or getting the more expensive product. As you can see, the goal of saving money can actually result in spending more of it. These companies are not running a charity, so that should not be too surprising.

Similarly, for anything that may take a serious time commitment from me, I tend to think more deeply – will this truly add anything to my life? In efforts to gain some positive outcome, am I just introducing a series of things that bring me dread?

I often find that if I think it through carefully, the things I thought were worth doing, were actually not worth the hassle at all. I feel liberated every time I realize that a task I put on my To-Dos actually isn’t worth doing, and I can just eliminate it.

To put it succinctly…

• If you can make $100,000 but it costs your health or mental health, is it worth it?

• If you can make 10 friends, but these people are a negative influence and only take and never give, is it worth it?

• If you can achieve your dream but must turn your back on your family and friends, is it worth it?

• If you can have people love you, but it’s because they don’t understand anything about you (and have their own false conception of you), is it worth it?

We can’t only look at the benefits we may receive, but also need to consider the costs.

So this year, I wonder what we can release ourselves from that just results in waste, problems, and negativity.

This year, can you release yourself from:

• Needing to feel superior to others?

• Repeating the cycles that have gotten you to the same undesirable point, over and over?

• Hoping or wishing, without taking the necessary actions to get where you want to be?

• Believing certain thoughts in your mind that have done you no good.

• Thinking your way is the only right way.

• Feeling that if you have failed at a task or goal, then this makes you a failure.

• Chasing the new and shiny thing that someone else says you should want.

• Needing to follow or listen to someone else, who likely does not have things figured out as much as it seems they do.

• Needing to add more and more to your life, to the point that you are perpetually exhausted and unsatisfied.

• The changing tides of emotions that make you unbearably upset. (You may think that others cause you to feel these emotions, but you play a role in it too.)

• Overfocusing on the trivial and temporary, and instead allowing yourself to see what actually matters.

Think now: what is the #1 thing worth releasing yourself from?

What will you release yourself from in 2022?

What is that you are sick and tired of from yourself? Is it the excuses, the lack of discipline, the re-creation of the same foolish cycles?

Do these words come to mind?: “New Years Resolution” or “Bucket List” or “Things I Want to Accomplish (But I Secretly Know it Will Never Happen Because I Gave Up).” Perhaps we need to rise above such things.

What I wonder is what it takes for us to be honest with ourselves. What does it take for us to seriously take a look at ourselves and say – “Something went wrong somewhere. What was it?”

What about me, you may say (me, the author). You may think it is easy for me to point the finger at you, but what can I release myself from?

I suppose if I wanted to release myself from something, it would be fear itself.

A few months ago, I began hiking. I bought new shoes and hiking clothes, and I felt ready. But on the first trip into the woods, I got scared. I went to a park with hiking trails that didn’t have any civilization nearby. Then I parked my car in a small lot and walked into the woods. Just a few steps in, I thought – I have no navigation skills, I could get lost here. I wondered if I could survive the night in the woods if needed. The fear was taking over, with irrational thoughts flooding in. But something kept me going.

What I was more uncomfortable with than the fear itself was the idea of letting the fear win over. Despite the feeling of dread that I would get lost and not know my way back, I just kept walking deeper and deeper into the woods. Eventually, I came across a few other hikers. Having seen other humans in the area that didn’t seem scared for their lives helped to put me at ease.

After a short while – I forgot about the fear. I was even beginning to enjoy nature and this pleasant walk.

Ultimately, everything went well on my hiking trip. I spent a couple of hours there, and I found my way back to the car without any problem. At first, the place seemed like a maze, but then I realized that many of the trails split up at certain points and then met up again. It was not so difficult to navigate the area with a bit of attention and focus.

The problem with fear is that if it isn’t one thing, it’s another. You may find yourself scared of not getting the promotion, but the thought of getting it also worries you. Or you may fear distracted drivers on their phones in the daytime, and distracted drivers who had too much to drink in the nighttime. When we really think about fear, it’s hard to get away from it. Perhaps even comically, some of us may fear death, but we also fear to truly live.

It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of fearing things, situations, or even people. Before you think I don’t fear anything – I’m doing fine, keep in mind that anxiety and worry are all a part of it. Fear is quite common – I’m guessing you and everyone you know has some anxiety, worry, and fear affecting their lives.

Similar events as the hiking one I mentioned have played out in my life so many times that I feel foolish for having to relearn the same lesson again and again. If you push through the fear, you often see that there was nothing there even to get scared of. The mind itself overreacts and comes up with thoughts and beliefs that drive us further into fear.

Even if something had gone wrong on my hiking trip, there were other hikers around that could help if I needed it. And my phone had GPS on it if I got lost and needed to find my way back to the parking lot. Of course, even if I had a serious situation come up, I could have called for help with my phone. Even if the things we fear do come true, there is often still a path forward. We just need to keep a level-headed mind. Someone who panics can make even a tame situation into a dangerous one, after all.

Whether fear or something else, I wish you would find something to release yourself from this year. But the reality is that to get to the point of being ready to release ourselves from something, we usually need to get fed up with where we are.

In my case, I was more irritated by the feelings of succumbing to the fear than I was by the fear itself. But who can teach you to get to that point? Who can show you the way? That is the path inside yourself that no one else could reveal.

Surely, for someone who has found contentment in the problems of their lives, they will relive them every year. If they never get fed up, then there is nothing for them to change. And that is simply the nature of things.

And that reminds me of one of the other things I have released myself from. I do not need you to listen, follow, or even agree with my words. I am at peace with whatever effect or non-effect these words may have.

This year, release yourself from one thing, then the other, then the next, and eventually see that you will be free from it all. You will be RELEASED, finding the freedom to be what you always were, in your own nature.

Pursue Your Joy, Spread Your Joy

“It would have made things a lot easier if we understood there was no way of living that can immunize you against sadness. And that sadness is intrinsically part of the fabric of happiness. You can’t have one without the other.” – The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig

The new year is here. Have you fallen into the same old patterns as last year? Did you make resolutions, knowing that you probably won’t make them happen, because that’s how it usually goes? Or did you make a long list of things you want to do, and it’s simply too much, so you know that even if you want it to happen and work at it, you may not have the time and energy to make it happen?

Or, perhaps you made a shortlist of critical things in your life that you are motivated to change. And you made a list of specific steps or actions to take. Then great! I’m guessing you will fulfill your plans in that case.

Or, maybe last year was hard enough to get through, and you feel good about yourself if you’re just able to get by at this point. I’m sure that this is a reality for many of us.

As we make our plans for the new year, keep this in mind:

Let’s not forget what brings us true joy. Let’s do more of that, and put more of that out into the world.

I just saw The High Note yesterday, and Dakota Johnson’s character says that she wants to make music that can help people feel less alone. Music helped her get through hard times in her life, and she wants to make music that will do the same for others.

Sometimes I think we view the pursuit of our joy as something selfish, but that isn’t necessarily the case. Often, it seems that in bringing ourselves joy, we can create something and share it with others, and they can share in some of that joy with us.

Is there something that brings you joy that you have neglected? Could this also spread joy to others?

I believe it is never too late to learn, try something new, and become who you truly wanted to become. Personally, it gives me strength to see that the things that bring me joy could truly mean something to other people too. There is no way to know until you do it or create it and share it.

Often, we get stuck in a rut and repeat the patterns of yesterday, and the day before that, and even last year, and the year before that. The first step to break these patterns is to see that they are there. Some hidden forces are guiding you to do just what you did before, again and again. Going to the same places, talking to the same people, doing the same things. Maybe this is fine if this is what you wanted. But is it truly what you wanted?

If not, only you can choose to break free from the mold you’ve created for yourself.

I find that to move toward joy, you have to make a commitment to yourself, and perhaps to someone else too. Then, you have to make the time for what you really want to do. I sense that my mind is always subconsciously monitoring and thinking this:

What would I normally do at this time? Let’s do that.

At breakfast time, I eat breakfast. At work time, I work. When it’s time to eat dinner and relax and watch TV, I do that. At my usual reading time in the evenings, I read. Usually, in the evenings, I also do some quick chores such as cleaning up, dishes or running other errands. In the course of a normal day, most of my time slots are filled. So this leaves weekends to work out anything I want to accomplish beyond my work goals. I make it a point to leave my weekends mostly open. This can be good and bad. They’re open and free, so I can do anything, but in reality, this may be time that goes wasted.

I have patterns that tend to hold for my weekends. I may be inclined to sleep in later, watch more TV, and play video games, but instead of this, I should be asking myself: What will bring me true joy and help spread this to others as well?

And so, for me, as far as making time for joy goes, this is the solution. I need to more carefully examine my weekends to see if I could do something more. For example, I can make time to read, learn to cook a new dish, chat with friends and family, look for ways to help out the community, exercise, write and review my poems or short stories, and so on.

I have many, many goals, but it makes sense to take some of that free time on the weekends and convert it into something that brings a longer-lasting, higher-quality type of joy. For you, you may consider if you can make some time first thing in the morning, right before bed, during a lunch break, or perhaps on the weekends.

Ask yourself:

What time am I wasting, that I could use to do something that brings me joy?

I included the quote at the top of this post because it makes a good point that we should not forget. The sadness is inevitable. I pursue joy and wish to spread more of it, but there are times when anyone can feel sad or down. I’m not in the pursuit of pure bliss, as such feelings are, of course, fleeting. I aim to make the best of the moments that come my way. But I also aim to create a world (in my own small way) that can build better moments for us all.

I aim to be content with what is while still making improvements. This can seem paradoxical – as if you are content, why would you need to improve? However, I’m not just content but also tremendously grateful for everything in my life. I feel it is my responsibility to work hard, help people, and spread joy and wisdom however I can.

Joy is something that I do pursue, but I know that this is not something I can ever catch. You may as well try to catch the oxygen sitting in front of you. And the fact that joy inevitably will come and go also means that sadness will inevitably come and go. If joy leaves you suddenly, sadness will tend to come and fill its place.

Joy and sadness are a normal part of the ebbs and flow of this human life.

All we can do is try to sit in peace with this reality. And those who are filled with joy can do their best to spread some of that to those who truly need it.

Don’t Let This Year Pass By, Wasted. Pursue Your Joy. Spread Your Joy.

Don’t know what to do with your time? Consider doing something for your health, such as exercise, mental training, expressing your creativity, or volunteering to help those in need. If you love to do something, you can spread the joy by introducing someone else to the topic or activity.

Are You Collecting Thoughts and Insights?

In 2021, I want to be more consistent with how I collect Thoughts. For Christmas, my wife gave me a book journal, and the best way to gain insightful thoughts, I find, is from books. A key way that I plan to start collecting thoughts is to write down some of the most insightful ones I come across in my readings.

If you are curious, my way of doing this is to write down thought-provoking or insightful quotes in my book journal. I also write down the page, so I can go back and explore the context more deeply if I wish. Then when I finish the book, I can reflect on these great insights.

I want to stick to the habit of writing down these insights to reflect on them more deeply. When I reflect on them, I may ask myself – Is this truly insightful? Have I come across this idea before, perhaps just stated differently? Have I applied this in my own life or seen it applied? What are the limitations of this idea? Might it work under some conditions, but not in others?

Of course, insights are different for everyone. An insightful idea to me may be mundane for you, or vice versa. What is insightful for someone depends on life experience, the goals we set, and our interests. Also, many great insights may come from anywhere, not just books – it could be an experience, a conversation, observing people, a podcast, a class, and so on.

As I have already explored much of my history and life experiences and some of my own key insights in my prior posts (see some of them on the Start Here page), going into the future, I plan to discuss and site particular sources of insights. I see no reason to summarize a whole book, but rather, I may mention a key insight I gained from a book and discuss what I believe some implications may be or how the insight could be applied for our benefit. I may even aim to apply it first and then let you know how that went for me.

Keeping track of sources is important, so if you find a post especially useful, you can explore that Thought more deeply by reading the source material.

Hopefully, you can gain manifold insights this way. For example, I will share an insight I read about or experienced. Then, I will share my personal insights about that insight. Then I may ask you to reflect on this, hopefully allowing you to build new insights based on the ones I shared with you. We shall see if this works how I think it will – stay tuned to future posts to find out.

I will admit that I am often stuck in my own mind – and so it could be quite beneficial if I were to focus on applying some insightful ideas to see what true value could be gained from them. If I find some useful insights that I can apply, I will aim to do this and report back to you on how it goes. I hope this will keep the site useful, interesting, and inspiring for you.

In 2021, I wish to have more insights and share more insights and apply the best ones to help myself, and you, and everyone.

I wish you an INSIGHTFUL 2021! May you be full of great INSIGHTS.

---

To discover how to read more deeply and attain more insights through your readings, I recommend: The Insightful Reader: How to Learn Deeply & Attain Life-Changing Insights from Books

As a final thought, if you have any new insights, I would be glad to hear from you in the form of a comment (on this post, or any relevant post). Keep in mind that the comments are not just for me. Usually, they can benefit many other readers who could learn from your valuable experiences. For instance, you may ask a question, share an experience, or provide your own thoughts on one of my posts.