Today, I Stand Still (and I ask, “Who are you?”)

I was wondering if just sitting still would be the highest moral ideal to strive for.

For the most part, all our human activity and busyness is actually just making things worse for the planet – requiring more food, fuel, production, and creating more waste. And so, a high moral ideal may be to sit still and do nothing all day.

We all assume that a hard worker is valuable, but perhaps just as valuable would be the one who did nothing.

It seems that everywhere we turn, we are being urged to do more, accomplish more, sell more of our own widgets, and buy more of other people’s widgets - of course, this relates to The Busy, Entertained, Exhausted Cycle that many of us get caught up in. The fear that strikes us deep inside is that we must operate at the highest level of efficiency and productivity, or we may someday learn that the widgets we helped create have a higher net worth than we do.

Actually, when we reach an artificial intelligence higher than our own, then it is logical that we will have produced something with a higher value than ourselves. Imagine when we have an artificially intelligent machine that can build improvements upon itself, and then that one creates new improvements, and so on.

Is our destiny to render ourselves obsolete?

Speaking of value….

What is the value of your home? Not in dollars, but lives.

Our homes are worth too much, to where the bank will happily take it from us when we cannot pay. The home is worth more than the lives inside, it seems. Out of the house, out to the street if you cannot pay. Wherever you go, no one knows, no one cares. Stripped of a home, then of humanity and dignity. This is the fear that drives us to do what the boss says, whatever it is, no matter how backward or senseless – we do it and live to be human another day. That is the hope – to cling to the empty shell of our human selves, just one more day, and hopefully, everything will turn out okay. The prior sentence is written from the perspective of what someone may feel when they have been worked to the bone, only with the mere hope of keeping their home.

It’s quite a downfall to do what is expected of you, just not quite as efficiently as a well-oiled, artificially intelligent machine, and then to find yourself without a home.

Sometimes…….

I want to clear my mind and pretend for a moment as if every message that came my way during the day was actually just a trivial bit of nonsense. I want to pretend as if everything everyone said were a virus that had been repeated ad nauseam out of habit and not for any reality of the content itself. That way, I can comfort myself that everyone has just been repeating silly little lies, and there was no reason to waste any of my brain space on it. If I could ignore it, then maybe I could focus on figuring out what actually mattered on my own. Then I ask – but is this pretend, or is this actually true? Am I just pretending that things are as they actually are?

I’m a writer, and my books are in paperback, and I wonder, am I just contributing to more dead trees out there? Could some animals have lived and sheltered inside the trees that ended up becoming my books? Will the knowledge in my books be worth more somehow than these trees? Is it possible for something to be worth more dead than alive?

When I pump my gas, sometimes I imagine that I am pumping my tank full of dead and decomposed and liquified dinosaurs. And then I think, maybe that is our fate too, for some distant alien civilization to find us in time and to use our remains to fuel their spaceships. (By the way, even though I imagine dinosaurs, actually the fuel is made up of other plants and lifeforms from before the ages of dinosaurs.)

I have meandered, but here is the Thought I started the post with: I was wondering if just sitting still would be the highest moral ideal to strive for.

I thought perhaps I would take the high road today and sit still. And then I realized this is what I do every day, since writing and managing my business is mostly done sitting down and with stillness. And doing the same thing we do every day in habitual fashion couldn’t possibly be the highest moral ideal, could it?

So rather than sit, today I am going to stand and meditate in stillness.

Today, do something still, even if it’s just for five minutes. Then ask yourself, is this going to make things better or worse for all of humanity? Then ask yourself, what would happen if all humans sat or stood still for a full 24 hour day? Would we go mad, or sane, or both?

In stillness, perhaps we can let go of some of the insanity of our ways, and just for a moment perceive the actual truth as it is.

In our stillness and lack of productivity, would the world notice that we hadn’t helped produce a new widget? Would the world starve more because of our personal absence from it, or more from the absence of our widgets?

When we meet someone new, we often ask what they do, not who they are. Is that because we all know the widgets that we make (e.g., I make books, or at least the writing inside them), but few of us truly know ourselves or our own value independent from what we are making?

I once had a great fear that a stranger would one day ask me, “Who are you?” and I would stumble and blabber like a drunken fool, spewing incoherent syllables that led me nowhere, and the stranger would laugh and walk away.

Do any of us really know who we are?

As we approach the new year, imagine that a stranger has walked up to you and asked, “Who are you,” with a smug grin. He seems to know that you couldn’t possibly produce a worthy response, despite all your travels, book learning, friendships, and widget-making. How do you respond?

WHO ARE YOU?

¿QUIÉN ES USTED?

QUI ÊTES-VOUS ?

QUEM É VOCÊ?

CHI SEI?

КТО ТЫ?

你是谁？

How to Stay Positive (10 Tips)

Introduction

A reader wrote me this week to ask me for some advice on staying positive. I struggled tremendously with staying positive, but through the years, I have developed my own systems that work for me. I would encourage you to try out some of my tips below and be willing to experiment to see what works for you.

As a quick note before beginning, we should be aware that negativity does serve a purpose. It allows us to understand when there is a problem or something that is not working properly. If nothing else, it allows us to see that we should consider making a change in our lives.

Even from negative circumstances, there is something positive for us to take from it.

A conclusion I have come to is that everything is a form of practice. These days, I am actually grateful for much of the negativity that happens around me. I see it as something that allows me to practice a positive mindset.

Ready to begin? Here are 10 Tips on how to stay positive:

1.     Read Books on Positivity and Mindfulness

I especially recommend 7 Thoughts to Live Your Life By, and you can also pick up 365 Quotes to Live Your Life By (free eBook). They can make the biggest impact when read together or one after the next.

These books include some of the best advice I could give to live your life positively. While some of the advice in these books comes from personal experience, much of it comes from the timeless wisdom from around the world. To see further book recommendations, scroll to the bottom of this post.

2.     Surround Yourself with Positive People

Focus on those who have a positive outlook and who are working to improve themselves and their communities. In these times, as you may be isolated due to Covid, be sure to call or have a video chat with loved ones who tend to have a positive spirit. Of course, being around people who care about you and support you always makes you feel more positive.

3.     Share Your Concerns

When we are going through a difficult time, some people tend to withdraw or want to keep their thoughts and worries to themselves. Rather, it is important that we have family or someone close to us that we can confide in and share our troubles with. We should avoid dwelling too much on the negativity, but at the same time, it is important to acknowledge when something is troubling us, as this can help us to find a path forward through it. Even if you are sure that there is no solution or constructive way forward through your problems, it can still help to share them with people who you know will support you no matter what.

Personally, when I speak about my troubles out loud, I tend to realize that there is something I can do to make improvements. Then, this makes me feel more positive about the situation.

4.     Snap Out of It

If you get caught in negative thinking loops, don’t try to think your way out of the loop. Thinking sometimes leads us into further negativity, and instead, it is better to find something that can snap you out of it. I may do this by watching a standup comedian, playing a video game, going for a walk, being with nature, meditating, or even whistling along to music (you may prefer to sing or dance).

5.     Find Your Purpose

In my life, finding my purpose and meaning have been tremendously important. Without these, I tend to feel directionless and lost, and I would not be a very positive person. An overarching message I’ve seen in many books and places is that when you have a purpose, you develop the strong mindset needed to overcome anything. If something matters that much to you, then you will find a way to keep making progress. Essentially, the positive feeling you have toward what you truly care about will always outweigh the negativity or obstacles on your path when you have meaning and purpose.

6.     The Power of Now

There is great power in knowing how to be truly, truly present. When you are fully absorbed in what is happening Now, there is no room left in your mind for negativity. Negativity involves abstract ideas oftentimes, perhaps worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. Still, the Now is the concrete reality that you are faced with every moment of your life. You can practice getting into the present by avoiding distractions, practicing meditation and mindfulness, and getting in the flow (see next point). To delve deeper into this topic, I recommend reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

7.     Get in the Flow

When you are in Flow, you challenge yourself and focus completely on one thing, making your mind operate at its highest possible level. When you do this, there is no room for any negativity in your life. Working on your goal is all you have the time and energy for. To get into this state, I may play a challenging video game that requires all my focus or play a chess game. Otherwise, of course, I can work on writing a book or blog post.

To understand how to practice Flow in your life, read Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

8.     Let the Negativity Pass Through You

I don’t recall with certainty where I heard this advice, but I believe it was from one of the Dalai Lama’s books. The advice was that we should not hold onto negativity that others pass to us. Whenever someone directs negative energy toward me, I will visualize it as passing through me. When this happens to most people, they will acknowledge and hold onto it – becoming filled with hate and anger. If we do this, then we take this negative poison, and it can ruin our day. Instead, it is better to allow that negative energy to pass through you. You can choose not to allow it to make an impact on your life if you wish.

Do not hang onto the negativity that others toss your way. Release your grasp on it. Let it go.

I’m sure this can sound impractical and like wishful thinking. But I have practiced this for years, and it works for me. I was given an excellent opportunity to practice this today, as I just read the most scathing review of one of my books ever (0 out of 5 stars!). This reviewer found no value or use from one of my best books. I just let the negativity pass through me and spent no more time or energy on this after reading it.

9.     Take Meaningful Action

As mentioned before, you should work on snapping out of your negative thinking by getting away from your thoughts. One way to do this is to take meaningful action. A problem I have often seen, and that I’ve had myself, is that we get overwhelmed with a task, and then we get stuck thinking negatively about it. This becomes a vicious cycle, as then we don’t take action, and we don’t make progress. Then we may fall further and further behind, getting stuck in a negative thought loop.

Instead, I try to get in the zone of taking meaningful actions. For example, I don’t like to do the dishes, laundry, or other household chores, but I’ve learned to appreciate them because I see them as meaningful actions. Stop seeing your actions as worthless and inconsequential, and perceive the meaning in them. I do the dishes and the laundry to keep my living space clean and orderly because this makes me feel good. The messier my personal space becomes, the more chaotic my mind tends to become as well.

Even if you have a task that you truly cannot stand, but you have to do it, then the meaning should be to get it out of the way so that you can get to other activities you actually care about. I find that the more active I get, the less negative I tend to be. Of course, one way many people stay active and that helps them to combat negativity is to engage in physical exercise regularly.

10.  If Needed, Seek Professional Help

I am not a clinical psychologist, so my advice can be of limited value for someone who is struggling tremendously. After a certain point where your thoughts or behaviors prevent you from living your normal life or from making progress on your goals, you should consult a doctor, psychologist, or therapist. If you would like some professional help in book form, an excellent guide is From Depression to Contentment by Bob Rich, a retired psychotherapist with a lifetime of dealing with his own depression and helping clients work through it as well.

Final Thoughts

I have made great efforts to maintain a positive mindset and expect positive things to happen in my life while putting in the work to get there. All I can tell you is that these tips have worked very well for me. Of course, I understand that sometimes things happen outside of our control that can guide us into negativity. For that reason, we must Practice our Positivity regularly. This way, when we need it the most, we will know how to use it effectively to overcome the obstacles of our lives.

One of my blog posts discusses (on tip #7) how we can create happiness in our lives, even if we may be dealing with a situation that is not ideal. It’s an inspirational post on the life of Oliver James and how he is overcoming his struggles with learning to read at 34 years old.

Recommended Reading

7 Thoughts to Live Your Life By by I. C. Robledo

365 Quotes to Live Your Life By by I. C. Robledo

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

From Depression to Contentment by Bob Rich

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie

The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama XIV

An Open Heart by Dalai Lama XIV

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware

Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

Tools of Titans by Timothy Ferriss