Think of Death to Live More Consciously

For someone who is 35 years old, I think of my own death quite often. I am very healthy, so poor health is not the reason for this. I am also not depressed, so please do not be concerned in that way either.

I also consider that for anyone important in my life, they may perish at any time. I don’t let this make me fearful, but I realize that this is the truth. Since much of my way of life is to pursue the truth, I think we need to acknowledge that life can be taken from us at any moment. We are not in control of when or how it will happen. We can eat well, exercise, and maintain our health to the best of our abilities, but this does not free us from the possibility of sudden illness, an accident, or senseless violence.

I am a highly optimistic person, and so the last thing I want to do is make someone fear that death is coming for them and their loved ones any time soon. I want us to accept that it can happen and use this for our personal betterment, rather than as something to become anxious or depressed about. There is no reason to expect death to come soon for many of us. Yet, because there is no reason to expect this to happen, our lives are often out of balance. We may even live as if we will never die, which of course, is false.

Many people prioritize work, or money, or even things above their loved ones. Still, if we considered even for a moment that a loved one may not be there tomorrow, then surely we would be awakened to the true value of our relationships with family and close friends.

Sometimes I think today could be my last day alive. If this were the case, what would I do? As strange as it is, I often find myself figuring out that I would live my life as an ordinary person, fulfilling my ordinary obligations. I would pursue a good meal, spend time with my wife, write my Thought post (as I’m doing now), and reflect on my life and the nature of society and its problems, as I do regularly. I would also try to help whoever I could.

Surely, if I knew I was going to die today, I would probably feel the need to reflect on whether my life had been worth it – whether I accomplished what I wanted to. But what is the point in waiting for death to think of this? Think of it right now. Are you accomplishing what you had hoped? Are you on the path you had hoped? Are you living up to your own standards? Forget the standards of everyone else for a moment.

If we wait until death to think and reflect on our lives, we are perhaps waiting until death to think. Is this the reality we want for ourselves? If nothing else, we should reflect on what we find to be truly important during our lives. If it is love, we should be loving, rather than just wanting others to love us. If it is happiness, we should be spreading it rather than just wishing to feel it. If it is wisdom, we should be the student for many years and then spread our wisdom to life’s students. What value do we hold so strongly that we should be giving it to others happily, rather than just wishing to accumulate it for ourselves?

We must seriously consider our own death to live truly. Understand that your life is limited, the lives of your parents are limited, even the lives of your children are limited. All lives are limited. There is only so much time to do what we wanted, find love, express our love, accomplish something, make our small impact in this world in our own way, and stand up for whatever it is that we believe in. But if we never thought about what we believed or what we wanted, how would we truly pursue it? And how would we accomplish it?

We have to respect that death is ultimately coming for us all. When we have a conversation with anyone, we should sometimes think – this may be the last time I have the chance to speak with this person. Before we get another chance, that person may die, or I may die.

Such thoughts are not meant to traumatize us or make us fearful or agoraphobic. The point is to realize that many of us are living life trivially. We are not present. We see our loved ones as just background noise, as mouths to feed, as wanting to discuss their own boring lives with us, etc. We form barriers between us with our phones, televisions, and other screens. In time, we become strangers in the same house, or eventually, maybe strangers who live in different houses who realize they never really knew each other.

It seems that many of us are afraid to live. It’s easier to follow the lives and dramas in the news media and television shows than to discover and pursue our own truthful life path. We become obsessive about following fake lives on television screens, celebrities, and our friends’ lives rather than forming our own life worth living.

We live in an age when it is more possible to create the life you want to live than at any point in history, but this does not necessarily make it easy. Just as we have opened up so many fruitful paths, we have also opened up many harmful and counterproductive options. The path toward truth and meaning in our lives is one we must commit to, or there will be plenty of distractions along the way to take us off course.

So this is why I find it valuable, and I’m eternally grateful for the simple reminder that I’m going to die. Everyone I know is going to die. These are statements I view positively, as they always help me stay on the right track in my life.

This simple reminder forces me to value people first, always. This is the world I want to live in, where we put people first. Ultimately, every action you perform every day should represent the world you want to live in. I always keep in mind that whoever I am interacting with is a real person first, and second, they are whatever they appear to be.

For example, for any stranger you may see on the streets, think: This is a person first, that happens to be a successful businessperson. This is a person first that happens to be skating in the middle of the street. Or this is a person first, who happens to be homeless and asking for food. Our value comes from being a person first, not from our secondary characteristics. And this is the way it is with all life, actually. Life has value in itself, not because of what temporary qualities it appears to have (e.g., beauty, success, power).

Whenever someone calls me or emails me and needs to talk, I do my best to be there. If it’s family, I drop what I’m doing and do my best to help, or listen, or provide whatever it is they may need. If it’s one of my readers with a problem, I often do my best to help them see better pathways in their life. I never aim to tell someone what to do with their life. I hope to get them to see better pathways that they could explore.

At one point, I was so fixated on my business and my work that I put that first for many years. Now, I don’t. Now, I see that my work is meant to be just an extension of my whole life. My whole life’s work is about helping people. So doing that is important, and I aim to listen to people deeply and help them however I can. If it means setting aside my work for a few minutes, or in some cases longer, so be it.

What point is there in me trying to spread my thoughts if I am not living by them? This is another realization you may come to when keeping death in mind. Are you truly living by what you find to be most important? Are you telling your kid to tell the truth, then you lie to everyone all day at your work and to your spouse? Are you telling your friends to follow their passion but choosing money first in your life every time?

The biggest lie most of us face every day is that we don’t acknowledge the simple fact of our own mortality and the mortality of every person we will cross paths with today. Keep this in mind. If you see 100 people or more today, there is a fair chance at least one of those people you crossed paths with will not be alive in 365 days.

To pursue truth in our lives, we must acknowledge our mortality, and this will help us always to make sure we are on the path to valuing what is truly most valuable in our lives and being congruent with ourselves (being, thinking, saying, and doing in a way that is in alignment). This will also help us to be more present. If you keep in mind the temporariness of life, you will be motivated to get the most from every moment and not take any of it for granted.