Be More, Do Less
When you get up in the morning, and you prepare yourself for the day, most of us probably think, “Today, I am going to do A, B, and C, etc., tasks that I have on my to-do list.” And there is something about this that becomes exhausting. Everything on the to-do list is something that we tend to resist. If we didn’t resist it, why would we have to write it down?
Do you write down that you will eat, go to the restroom, love your significant other and kids, watch TV, and so on? Probably not, but you probably do all of these things. This is because these things are in your natural state of being.
Reflecting on these ideas helped me to come to a simple yet powerful realization. We should aim to do less and be more. The amusing thing here is that as far as behavior goes, it’s all the same. Being and doing end up in you performing some actions, usually. Someone who is observing you may not be able to tell the difference, whether you are being or doing at any given moment.
However, there is a clear mental difference. Any time I am doing, I am resisting something. Perhaps it is me that I am resisting. Perhaps it is society and the fact that it makes demands on me. Perhaps it is my family who has given me these extra tasks. Whatever it is, I feel that resistance. Maybe you do too.
And so, I have learned that a key goal of life should be to be more and do less. I still have to-do lists, as there are some things which must be done. But if your whole day constitutes trying to check items off a list, something is seriously wrong. Items to do are done mostly with the purpose of completing them, so most of your life will become a series of events that you were busy completing. This appears to be joyless, and strangely enough, purposeless.
If your purpose becomes to complete tasks, you will always feel that you are not fulfilled. This is because we create endless streams of tasks to complete. Every day you will wake up feeling de-energized, as whatever you accomplished in the past seems not even to matter. All that matters is this towering list of new stuff you have to complete, so you can then move on to the next series of stuff you have to get through.
By trying to have goals and impose purpose in your life, you have actually run away from it. It’s as if our purpose in life has become to have purpose through completing tasks. And somehow, paradoxically, this is the worst way to achieve true purpose in our lives.
Then, how do we accomplish our true purpose? Not through doing tasks, but through being who we already are. Purpose is about self-discovery and then being what we have discovered ourselves to be. And through being ourselves, we learn more about ourselves, which helps us be more centered with who we already are.
Unfortunately, when we become too task-focused, those tasks are usually not for ourselves, to begin with. Some tasks are because of the boss, the significant other, the kids, the neighbors, organizations we belong to, taxes or debts we owe, etc. And when we work on tasks for others as a big part of our day, we tend to feel as if our life is not in our hands. We are doing tasks not even for us, but for other people. And so we feel exhausted and drained because we are not being for ourselves, but we are doing for others.
Obviously, as you may be thinking now, real-life does constitute many tasks that most people don’t want to do. And for many of them, there is no good way around them. My point is that we may have more control than we think. If we consciously thought through our daily rhythms, we would find that no one is forcing us to go through certain tasks. We have made it up in our minds that we needed to do them and stress about fulfilling our own need to accomplish tasks endlessly.
Every day, ask yourself: How can I be more and do less?
Trust me when I tell you that every task on your to-do list does not need to get done. And trust me when I tell you that if you are resisting yourself and exercising all your willpower every day to get through your tasks, then something has gone horribly wrong.
An overnight life change may not be practical for you. But at least search for small ways to be more and do less.
For example, I used to have to-do lists for my business that were 4-5 pages long. This was reoccurring every week. Every week, I would check some things off and add some new items, and so my list was always 4-5 pages long. It always felt overwhelming, and through the years, I realized that I had a lot of resistance. I resented this list, and I had no one to blame for it because I happen to be my own boss.
Several months ago, I realized that most of the list was not that important, and I aimed to simplify my professional goals. Currently, I only have 1 page maximum of to-dos for my business. This has helped me focus more on being who I am rather than doing an endless set of tasks.
To be more and do less means asking yourself what the most important thing in your life is. Perhaps you have many important areas in your life – such as family, a career, hobbies, etc. You should ask yourself which areas of your life are most important. And perhaps, which sub-areas of your life are most important. When you know what truly matters, you can focus on being in the moment for those parts of your life.
When you focus on being, you will be more energized, fulfilled, and more in line with your true purpose in life. You may find that being so task-focused was robbing you of your own life, and you will be more committed to avoiding getting sucked into doing so much.
Most of us have to-do lists, but I have never heard of someone having a to-be list. This is because we naturally want to be beings. We are beings, not doings. So our natural state is to be who we are, and no one needs a reminder to be who they are.
To focus on being, aim to create situations where you can be yourself more comfortably. Or aim to surround yourself with people and settings that help you to be yourself. Strive to be with people who value you personally for who you are, rather than just for the number of tasks you can accomplish per day. I realized that most of my childhood friends were just people with whom I felt comfortable being me around – and I was shy, so this was not always easy to find. As a last note, if you have the power, you may consider creating systems or settings that allow others to focus more on being rather than just doing.
There is a big difference in how we live when we are being versus when we are doing. I find that when I am being, I am focused on being mindful. I want to savor what is happening, I want to live the moment as deeply as I can, and I am enjoying the journey of being rather than needing to have an endpoint. Rather, when I am doing tasks, I often allow myself to enter into a mindless state. This means that I become okay with doing the task to get it done, just to get to the next task so I can get it done, and so on until everything is done.
So we have to ask: Are we meant to live mindfully or mindlessly? Are we meant to be or do?
