Every Moment Presents a Choice

The new year is upon us.

But today, rather than reflect on the prior year or plans for the future, I think we could use a reminder of a power we have always had.

That is the power to choose the direction of our lives, every moment of every day.

Sure, there is a life path we have found ourselves on through having created it, stumbled upon it, or found ourselves in it through necessity.

For better or worse, this is the reality of our lives.

Yet we always have choices.

A thought that has occurred to me is that many of us don’t truly understand the number of choices available to us in a given day.

Consider this: A dear friend once criticized me upon realizing that in a day we spent together, he had made every decision about what we did. He got tired of it, and he asked me:

Have you even made a single choice today?

His question made me realize that every moment of that day had presented me with a choice. I could go along the easy route with the path unfolding before me, or I could fight against it.

Neither way is necessarily better than the other, but that is the key, predominant choice of our lives. Flow along with the stream of destiny, or work to create your own path.

I explained to my friend that I had made countless choices that day, all of which involved doing what he wanted to do and spending time with him. Even in that moment of discussion, I had chosen to continue our conversation rather than part ways.

Every moment is a choice.

It so happens that with me, when everything is going well, I don’t fight the path in front of me. I allow it to unfold as it does, to take me where it flows, but I am still choosing that.

But what about when your life’s path presents more and more obstacles, and you dread what lies ahead?

In such cases, we must use the power we have to make a choice.

Even if you made a mistake, and for 100 moments in a day, you chose to continue along a futile, unrewarding, miserable path, you still have the power at any moment to change that.

Every moment of every day gives you the opportunity to change it all around.

Even when it comes to mental states – if, in the course of a day, you find yourself unhappy and bored, you can ask what choices led you to that. And if you make new choices in a different direction, can you begin to find the happiness and stimulation that you need?

Taking things further, even our beliefs about ourselves or the world, and thus the emotional states that may follow can be a choice.

Here is a belief some people may hold:

I believe I have little power, and my life’s path has been decided by my parents, the government, or society.

The issue with that belief would be that it completely nullifies your ability to choose your life’s path. If you are willing to accept your power of choice in every moment of every day and do something with it, then you have that power in you.

However, if you are not willing to accept that you have that power, then you do not have it. You have taken your own power away, then.

Consider this: How many choices or opportunities for change do we get in the course of a day?

Let’s say a moment is equal to a second. Then that would mean that in your waking hours, or 16 hours, there are 57,600 moments where you can make a choice. That is quite a few….

Those are 57,600 opportunities where you can choose to continue along a path or to seek a new one. To use your own judgment or pursue a mentor to guide you. To rely on the same habitual ways of believing and behaving or to pave a new path of being. To value time and use it wisely, or waste it on nonsense. To help yourself or another, or help no one.

Even to reflect on your choices or not, or to write down what you have learned or not are choices you get to make.

The choices are seemingly infinite. Yet there is always a choice.

Of course, it’s easier to blame others and say they are at fault for the setbacks in our lives. And perhaps other people are at fault, to some extent. But complaining, obsessing, or stressing about that does nothing for your progress.

In fact, if you get hung up on how others are at fault, you are the one who has chosen to delay your own life’s progress.

So, of course, we must avoid that and accept our power to choose every moment of every day.

How can you use your power of choice?:

When your time is being wasted, with nothing to gain from it, choose to use it on something more beneficial. Or at least decide to avoid such wasted time in the future.

When you are disrespected and unappreciated, choose to pursue better people to spend your time with.

When you have been treated unjustly, choose to speak up rather than ignore the issue.

When you have made horrible mistakes, choose to learn and improve.

When someone needs help, choose to help if you can.

Choose to see the good in people and situations and not just the bad that is there.

Some of us who do not use our power of choice may not know what we want. In that case, we should reflect on what we believe to be truly important.

For example: Family, Peace, Success, Love, Happiness, Mastery, Knowledge, Awareness, Service, Giving, Truth, and so on. What is most important to you?

Then ask, are your choices helping you to create the life you ultimately want to live? And are you taking advantage of all the choices available to you at every moment in time?

Of course, the point here is not to get overwhelmed with so many choices, as who really needs 57,600 choices? The point is this:

Realize that every moment of your life is a moment of true possibility, where your life can begin to unfold in a new direction of your choosing.

What better time to reflect on that, and to truly understand it and make it a way of life, than the new year, here and now….

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Don’t Forget the Fundamentals

In our life goals, we sometimes forget about the fundamentals or the basics that we know we should be focusing on. This can be a great mistake, as the fundamentals are important enough that we should never lose sight of them.

For living a good life, the fundamentals may be: eating well, sleeping well, deep breathing (to help destress), exercise, staying hydrated, nurturing and working on important relationships, avoiding chronic stress, seeking out supportive friends and colleagues, and having some free time to enjoy yourself.

I would also say that monitoring your progress is a fundamental skill, as this can help you to notice if your mental health is suffering or if you have lost your motivation and to help resolve small problems before they become big ones.

If we consider work, the fundamentals there may be: prioritizing your most important tasks, showing up on time, making sure you understand what is expected of you, working together as a team, developing good relationships with your boss and colleagues, setting attainable goals, and identifying obstacles and problems.

Since I value mental and cognitive development, other important fundamentals may be meditation or yoga, reading, learning, challenging yourself, brainstorming ideas, creative or artistic expression, and writing or documenting your ideas.

We sometimes form grand goals that we want to accomplish, and it is good to be ambitious, but we should be careful not to forget about the fundamentals.

If we try to advance too far without applying the basics, then some important part of our lives will likely suffer.

Many times, people want shortcuts to help meet their goals. However, when it comes to the fundamentals, this often means putting in the work every day. Simply sticking to them can provide a struggle every day for many of us. And so, we must remind ourselves when we want to advance and reach higher levels that the basics still matter.

What good does it do you if you get that promotion, but you no longer have time to eat right and sleep well? You may earn more respect and income, but in time, your health may suffer. You may even lose motivation at your work.

The fundamentals are there for a reason. And while they may differ from person to person, many of the basics do apply to all of us, such as those listed above that matter for living a good life.

Be aware that even the fundamentals can be overdone and get in the way of each other. For example, what good does it do to meditate an hour every day if you do not have a job or the funds to support yourself? What good does it do if you oversleep, and this drains your energy and motivation rather than helping you? Exercise can be useful, but if you obsess about it, you may fail to make time for important relationships in your life.

Today I would like you to think about the most important 5 fundamentals are in your life. What are they?

To be fundamental, they should be important to do every single day. Are you happy with how you are accomplishing them? Are you overdoing it?

A lesson I would like you to understand is that the fundamentals can appear quite easy and simple, and so we may get bored with them and want to move on. But you may find that if you do this, your life will fall out of balance, and you will need to go back and perform those fundamentals that you had neglected.

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One of my books which I am most proud of explored some fundamentals in our thinking processes, and how having the right thoughts can help us to live our best lives. For example, the first three Thoughts are:

• Focus on What You Can Control, Not on What You Cannot Control.

• Focus on the Positive, Not on the Negative

• Focus on What You Can Do, Not on What You Cannot Do

The book is 7 Thoughts to Live Your Life By: A Guide to the Happy, Peaceful, & Meaningful Life - These Thoughts changed my life around, and I hope they can impact your life too.

Are you Personally Fulfilled? (What is Success, Really?)

We tend to throw around words like “success,” – and usually, I think it is assumed that we are talking about bigger paychecks, faster cars, and gated communities. But is this really all there is to success, or is there something we are missing here?

Whenever someone mentions success, I always find myself thinking to myself:

What is success, really?

A study I read showed that college students tend to drink more alcohol than they would like, and this happens because they think everyone else is drinking a lot and enjoying it. Because of these perceptions, they feel like they should be drinking more and enjoying it. This ends up with college students drinking more than they would truly like – which perpetuates the idea that college students drink a lot and like it.

Extrapolating from this, sometimes I wonder if many people are chasing what they think other people view as success.

These perceptions of success are perpetuated in the news, media, social media, and so on. The idea that is created through this is that:

You should want conventional ideas of success for yourself, or something is wrong with you.

Some popular influencers will hire a model or rent fancy cars or create a background that makes it look like they are on a private jet. They will include these props in their supposedly real videos to create the illusion of success. Perhaps they all bought into the idea that they should want success, and perhaps they thought that by appearing to be successful, others would be more interested in them (thus, helping to actually make them successful).

For most people, is it more important to actually be successful, or are we just obsessed with the need to appear successful?

In life, I think we are often presented with a choice. Will we allow others to impose their ideas on us, or will we take the time to think things through and form our own thoughts and ideas?

Consider: What is success to you?

To me, it’s not about the money, the houses, or even the appearance of having it.

At its most basic element, to me, success is fulfillment.

So then, what is fulfillment?

You can be fulfilled in many different ways.

Purpose

One of the primary roads to fulfillment is to know what your purpose is. What do you find meaning from in your life? Many of us will find purpose through our work, helping others, improving ourselves, or raising children.

Physical (e.g., exercise and stamina)

We can find physical fulfillment through exercise, playing sports, or even just walking. Some people need more physical activity to feel fulfilled, and others can get by with less. However, a part of meeting our fulfillment will likely involve keeping ourselves in a good enough shape that we can be satisfied with and meet our other life goals.

Mental (e.g., intellectual, creative)

Mental fulfillment may be found through challenging yourself intellectually or creatively. Some people who always like to read, learn, or discuss interesting ideas will have a high need for mental fulfillment. We all have different needs in this regard, too – some people may meet this by painting or drawing, and others may need a mentally engaging job to feel fulfilled. Some people need to change things up regularly – they may enjoy being with nature, traveling, visiting museums, and learning about different cultures.

Social (e.g., bonding, spending quality time, and emotional support)

Most of us interact with a variety of social circles regularly, such as family, friends, colleagues, and perhaps neighbors or other acquaintances. As I keep stating, we all have different needs in this regard. Some people only need a few friends to feel fulfilled, and others will need many more. In general, we all need to engage with some people to feel whole. In the end, this is likely because our individuality happens in the context of the people around us (e.g., how can you be the shy one or the funny one if there is no one else there?)

Spiritual (and mental health / mental balance)

Some people may not like the term spiritual if you do not relate to it, but in that case, you can view this as mental health and balance. There are many ways to pursue this, of course. Some have prayer, meditation, yoga, or positive thinking. Some people may explore their thoughts and beliefs through journaling their personal journey. Of course, one way to strive for spirituality and mental balance is to make sure to pursue all the other ways toward fulfillment – purpose, physical, mental, social, and values. For me, spirituality also involves considering my personal role in the whole universe and how I interconnect with everyone and everything.

Living By Your Values

It makes perfect sense to me that you must know your highest values and live according to them to be fulfilled. If you are not living according to what you think is most important, how could you possibly be fulfilled?

To help you brainstorm which values are most important to you, here is a list of 50 core values from James Clear’s website.

My core values are truth, balance, love, knowledge, and transference – which I discussed more deeply in this post - The Path to a True and Fruitful Life.

Final Thoughts

True success lies in fulfillment. To recap, the ways to fulfillment are by pursuing your purpose, and also physically, mentally, socially, spiritually, and living by your values.

Before you go, consider these questions:

• How fulfilled are you in your life?

• What can you do to become more fulfilled?

• Is there something in your life you can let go of which has not properly fulfilled you?

• Did fulfillment mean something completely different for you?