Real Learning Comes Through Transformation

“Learning—real learning, wisdom—comes only when you are transformed. It is not an additive process—you cannot just go on adding knowledge to yourself. You will have to go through a transmutation that is hard.” – The Buddha Said… by Osho

I am only on the fifth chapter (out of 22) of The Buddha Said… and already I can see that this book carries great wisdom. It will be worth reading carefully, applying, and rereading, and reapplying. That is what I plan to do. The knowledge in this book could take time and effort to master, as it seems to guide us toward enlightenment.

The passage quoted above was insightful to me, yet it may appear quite obvious on its surface. I have found that most worthy wisdom is just that. It seems obvious and straightforward and often even easy to apply, yet very few of us do.

For example, I can tell you that getting impatient is bad. The next time someone is irritating you or provoking you, ignore it. Let it be. Take a breath and pay attention to something worthwhile in life.

Yet, for someone with the habit of impatience, will they listen and change?

Or I can tell you that to be lazy is bad. Do not waste this life. Go out and have the courage to find something that truly matters to you and that will make a difference in this world. Stop doing the bare minimum to get by and increase the standard you expect from yourself.

Yet, for someone with the habit of laziness, will they listen and change?

Or I can tell you that to be vengeful is bad. Stop wishing to get payback on all those that commit wrongs against you. In some cases, they are poisoned from having been wronged, making them want to wrong others. And in other cases, they don’t know the wrongs they commit and do so through a lack of awareness. Lastly, as we have all heard, “An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind,” so is this something we want to give energy to?

Yet, for someone with the habit of vengeance, will they listen and change?

As you may guess, I find it unlikely that the person with a habit of something will suddenly change their life from being exposed to mere words.

Despite that I work as a writer and earn my living this way, it is painful to admit that the words themselves are empty if they don’t cause personal transformation. The learning, the knowledge, the wisdom, the teachings—all of it is empty, useless, and fruitless if we do not change from within.

Yet I have seen, as you have seen, that most of us know the right things to do, to be, to say, and yet fail to do them. Perhaps we need to come to the awareness more deeply that the only worthwhile learning was not in the accumulation of knowledge, facts, or even the pursuit of higher understanding.

Rather, the only worthwhile learning was in whether we could become aware, change who we are, and perform new and better actions. Awareness is not enough—to be aware is to see that something is happening. But to see it and do nothing seems to be a massive failure, worse than not having seen it at all.

If you see a wall and walk into it, isn’t that somehow worse than someone who never saw the wall and walked into it accidentally?

We must become aware, change who we are, and perform new and better actions.

The point is to do something with all the accumulation of knowledge and facts. Otherwise, the learning was useless. This is not something we hear often.

I am a big believer in education and learning. But what we often forget is that as humans, what we learn should be causing some change within us. And that change within us should cause some change in the real world.

In a similar vein, Mahatma Gandhi said:

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.”

If I read the tragic history of a people, and then I live my life normally, without my heart having grown, giving to charity, or learning more about their present-day struggles, then what have I truly learned?

If I “learn” by acquiring facts, and change nothing, then isn’t that a personal failing?

Yet, the point of this post is not to make us all feel guilty for anything we ever learned, where we failed to convert it into some positive action. The point is to see that we need to be brave and encourage these personal changes to happen.

I have seen many highly educated people increase their learning and awareness while failing to grow at all. I’ve been guilty of this too.

How much time do we spend reading the news versus actually doing something about the world's tragedies?

How much time do we spend educating our children about “the real world” while denying them the ability actually to participate in it?

And how much do we consume books or media while not producing something worthy in return?

Having written this post up to here, I believe you probably already knew everything I just stated. So if we already knew, why haven’t we committed to acquiring more helpful ideas and performing more actions that could help us change more profoundly?

The reason is that we fear change. Even for those who want progress, it still can feel scary or overwhelming to make a significant change.

But we don’t need to make massive changes in every area of our lives, suddenly.

We can decide on certain things that we find to be important and then invest ourselves into them.

I use the word invest because when you invest, you risk losing something. Your risk may be that you hope to help improve something, and in the end, you don’t make much of an impact. Then you may be let down or upset. But of course, we have to be willing to risk losing something to make our impact.

The outcomes we desire are never guaranteed. There is always a risk. We need to choose which risks are worth taking, where we can hope to gain a worthy experience that transforms us.

I think we fear changes because we tend to fear death. Change is the death of something old and the birth of something new. However, why should we fear it? We can guide the change in our lives by moving away from those things that do not work, which are not fruitful, and moving toward the ones that are.

We may find that the greatest life lessons come from the most significant changes within us or around us. Yet great changes imply some form of loss, which again is what we fear. We must become comfortable with the idea of losing something (or someone) if we ever wish to gain anything that truly matters.

We cling even to the things that don’t do us much good because they are familiar. They make us feel at home. But sometimes, that home is worth letting go of, to introduce something that compels us to grow.

In the end, we will lose our lives and everything we ever gained. All of that was temporary. But if we work on transforming ourselves, we will leave a permanent impact on the people around us and on the universe itself.

The universe is not static—it is ever-evolving and changing. Perhaps we could learn something from that.

The key lesson of the day is that we should continue to learn. But for that learning to be worth something, we should be ready and willing to change from within. This can mean seeing the world in a new way, feeling in a new way, and then deciding to stop doing something we used to do—and doing something in a way that we never did before.

We have not truly learned unless we have been transformed from the inside.

As a practical tip, after you read something or learn something, ask yourself:

What has truly changed?

If nothing, then ask:

What can I change, and should I change, given what I just learned?

A Universe of Thoughts

As I continue with I. C. Robledo’s Thoughts, writing a post every day, I have been left feeling that I have a Universe of Thoughts inside me that are not fully known even to myself.

And this has made me realize that we probably all have a Universe of Thoughts within us, and it seems much of that is left unexplored.

Perhaps much of our Thoughts are left dormant, like seeds that never germinated and never amounted to much.

What I mean by a Universe of Thoughts is that just as you have a rich life of behaviors and feelings and desires, we tend to forget that there is also a whole universe of thinking happening in our minds.

In writing out my Thoughts, sometimes I feel that I am arriving at new ways of thinking, processing, and figuring things out. This is usually how writing our thoughts works.

Yet, much of the time, I feel that these Thoughts were always within me somewhere, just waiting to be expressed. And of course, my thoughts are not fully my own, as they result from all I have learned, my experiences, and my interactions with people.

Today, I want you to consider what Universe of Thoughts you hold inside you that perhaps you are not even aware of.

Surely, part of what I am getting at here is what is referred to as the subconscious mind. There are parts of the mind we are aware of, which we are conscious of, and parts which we do not fully know the subconscious side.

When I write these posts, I have been entering into a mode of flow, where the words flow out of me as if I am tapping into a Stream, as if these were thoughts that were always in me, simply dormant and waiting to be expressed.

I’m not sure that I express my thoughts, record them, or even “think” them so much as I am capturing them. Imagine a radio signal - the radio isn’t thinking and speaking to you. It is just capturing the message.

Rather than looking outward at the world around me, I am exploring inward. I am turning the focal lens of my mind onto itself. I am seeking to explore the boundary between my subconscious and conscious mind. The parts that were perhaps once subconscious, I aim to get into words and express them for your benefit.

Clearly, we all have hidden sides of our minds that we are not fully aware of. Yet if we search enough, we can actually explore these subconscious parts of ourselves and make them conscious.

This type of exercise, where you capture the uncapturable and express the inexpressible, is similar to recalling a forgotten memory. Have you ever done that? Have you ever “forgotten” or not thought about something in many, many years, then suddenly it came to you? You took something hidden in a dark cloud inside your mind, and you brought it to light.

If you have done something like this, you know it is possible to shine a light on hidden parts of the mind. Just because it is difficult to do at first does not mean it cannot be done.

When you explore your mind and yourself enough, you can eventually intertwine your conscious, subconscious, and full mind together, start to flow like a stream, and then capture that Stream, which is your Universe of Thoughts.

The Universe of Thoughts is just your conscious and subconscious minds put together. Once you see these Thoughts, your next challenge will be to understand and articulate what you see there. And what you will see are your full conscious and subconscious experiences and all that you have ever seen, known, experienced, and felt.

This is the Whole self that is you, not the fragmented parts that we normally think up. We categorize and label ourselves to try to make sense of ourselves. But there is a part of us that is Whole and cannot be categorized. It is the True You.

Isn’t it interesting that we can see an image of the actual Universe while knowing very little about what happens in it? Similarly, you can see an image of your brain (which seems to house your mind), yet you can know very little about what is happening there. Sometimes seeing visually isn’t enough. You have to learn to “see” with your mind in new ways that were never taught. With this new kind of seeing, you may learn about your own mind.

What is inside your Universe of Thoughts? There are Thoughts of Truth, Wisdom, Understanding, Intuition, and Feeling, and Love.

I believe we all have volumes full worth of knowledge and books, or videos, or any media stored in our minds. It is all there, usually uncaptured, untapped.

How can we actually explore our Universe of Thoughts?

This is not a skill that is ever really taught. It is intuitive for us to explore the world around us. We learn to read, watch videos, perform any actions we need to, think about what is in front of us, or even concepts discussed in a book.

But how good are we at exploring inward and seeing the thoughts, feelings, and experiences happening internally? Because these are not easily captured in a book or video or some measurable way, we forget about this experience inside. We may even take it for granted or feel that it is not especially important. Keep in mind that reading or learning about someone else’s experience is not the same as fully understanding your own unique human experience.

There is great difficulty articulating your inner experience, as we may not even have the words to capture the experience fully. You may find yourself inventing words or concepts to properly articulate your inner mind and life.

At the end of the day, our Universe of Thoughts is just scratching the surface. It is just one single part of our Personal Universe of Being that we have access to (which would include Thoughts, Feelings, Behaviors, Experiences, Desires, Beliefs, Values, etc.).

Consider this: If you don’t have access to your own mind, life, thoughts, experiences, and beliefs in a fully conscious fashion, then what does all the rest matter?

If we do not know and understand ourselves, how well can we possibly understand something outside of us?

Everything expressed in today’s post was something that was forever inside my mind and had not been expressed. All of this flowed from my inner mind (or a part that is intermixed with conscious and subconscious thinking), so I know that it is not fiction, that it is coming from my True Source of Being.

If you want to access your Universe of Thoughts, start capturing (or recording). You can do this in a journal, audio, video, or even just by talking them out with a friend or family member. Don’t allow yourself to stay stuck on the surface of things. If you find yourself having conversations that run the same course as they always do, then you have not gone deep enough.

When you start tapping into your Thoughts more deeply, you may explore uncomfortable ideas or memories, or you may realize that you had stifled parts of yourself to appease someone or society. You may wonder about a lot of assumptions you made in your life. You may begin questioning more.

For example, why is it that every time I hear this particular word, I get angry? Or I get sad? Why would a single word have that effect on me? If you haven’t had such thoughts, you may relate to having a particular negative or even positive reaction to someone you only just met - why would that be?

What is it about You (e.g., your thoughts, beliefs, desires, experiences, values, etc.), that makes You this way?

But rather than just accessing memories, or ideas, or regrets, you may eventually tap into your own way of seeing the universe. You may start to understand yourself and why you think a certain way, why you believe a certain thing, why certain things are meaningful to you and others are not. You may explore deeper and deeper until you can eventually read yourself as a book.

Eventually, you will have volumes of your own Thoughts and Being inside your mind. They may also be in physical form as if reading a book right in front of you because you will be tapping directly into the Stream or Universe of Thoughts.

You will start to see that there is a Universe inside of you that you can explore at will. You will move beyond the surface, and dive into the Deep.

Eventually, you can break down your own mind, and when you deconstruct it, you can reconstruct it to be whatever you want or need it to be. Discover the rules that make your mind what it is, and you will be able to see that things could be different than what they are.

None of this is easy, and I don’t know how to teach you to get There other than to write this post that has been written. First, it was written into my mind. Then I tapped into it. Then I wrote it here for you to see.

I am not the Source – I just managed to capture the Thought.

From Inner Focus to Outer Focus

I am extremely self-reflective. You may notice I reflect about myself, society, and even the universe.

However, at certain points, I have created so many problems that self-reflection couldn’t fix them.

When you don’t know what path to go on in life, and you’ve had limited experiences, can just thinking it through truly solve this? Instead, you may need to seek out new experiences to learn more deeply what you truly want to do.

When you have constant troubles with your spouse or significant other and every day is like walking on eggshells, is self-reflection going to resolve these issues that have built up over the years? Instead, you may need to communicate more effectively.

When you are drowning in your own self-created misery, anxiety, depression, guilt, or whatever it may be, is thinking through the thoughts that created that misery going to help? Instead, you may need to find ways to get away from your own toxic thoughts and participate more fully in the real world - get physically active, spend time with friends, or take up a hobby.

The great challenge of helping yourself or even helping others is that there is no one solution that works in all cases. I am a great proponent of self-reflection and learning about ourselves. But sometimes, the solutions to life’s troubles don’t come from within.

Sometimes we have to pay attention to what is happening around us. We have to become more in tune with what is outside of us and beyond our own small corner of the universe.

Many of our self-created problems come from assuming that we are much more important than we are. In such cases, focusing more deeply on ourselves may create more problems rather than helping to resolve them.

There are two primary forms of focus that we can employ in this life. There is Inner Focus and Outer Focus.

Inner Focus

With inner focus, you are aware of your thoughts, problems, how everything affects you, and your feelings. This can be good so that you are aware and conscious of how you are living your life.

But if your inner focus becomes too powerful or extreme, this can become like a gaping black hole that sucks you deep into yourself, to the point that it becomes difficult to escape from yourself. You can reach a point where you are stuck in your own thoughts and feelings, unable to perceive anything beyond your own miseries and problems. This is clearly counterproductive.

The trick is to catch yourself sinking into yourself deeper and deeper like quicksand and to do something about it before you truly get stuck.

Outer Focus

With outer focus, we are attuned to what is going on around us. You can see the nature around you, whether people, birds, squirrels, insects, or even plants and trees. You wake up to the fact that there is so much going on all around you. Birds are feeding their young. Bees are pollinating the flowers. A child that scraped his knees is calling for his mother.

Despite that your mind focuses most of its energy on yourself, you are not the center of the universe.

In seeing deeply into what is happening around you, it helps to diffuse your own personal problems. The more your focus is on what is happening outside of you, the smaller you and your problems seem by comparison.

I used outer focus to overcome a great fear of mine. In graduate school (a decade ago), I needed to deliver presentations regularly. Usually, every month or two, I needed to do this. But I had stage fright. As a child, I sometimes skipped school on days when I was expected to present. As an adult, I realized that skipping out was not a real option. This would not help me or anyone.

In trying to overcome my fear of public speaking, I examined myself more and more closely. What will people think if I mess up? What if I forget what I wanted to say? What if I don’t know the answer to someone’s question? I could easily fail and look stupid, and people could laugh at me. To make matters worse, possibly, I was a fairly shy, quiet individual.

The way to resolve this thinking was so simple that I was surprised when I realized the solution. The solution was to put my focus on others, not on myself. If I’m about to present, and I think, “Don’t mess this up,” then this is setting things up horribly.

Of course, I learned my material and studied it carefully, and I practiced my presentations several times. But what truly made the difference was that I changed my frame of mind.

I stopped thinking about how I was going to look. I developed a mindset where I no longer cared about myself. I focused instead outwardly on helping others. I viewed my presentation as me teaching my classmates something new. I was there to help them understand a new topic. I wasn’t there to scrutinize my every thought and move. The more I focused outwardly, the better I was able to present. I became concerned with them and their learning process, not my own appearance. After a few presentations thinking in this way, I no longer feared it.

Self-reflection is a useful skill to have. We must be cautious because it can become a harmful habit if we reach the point of Self-obsession.

I have heard of some people who were very ill – they suffered daily with fragile health. They took medications or treatments that were so strong it left them feeling weak. Yet some of these people worked intensely and performed at such a high level that people were amazed at what they could accomplish - the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg comes to mind.

Some of the world’s highest performers have this figured out. It isn’t about themselves - it’s about what greater good they can do for others.

Perhaps we will surprise ourselves when we stop getting sucked into our own daily pains and problems and instead focus outside of ourselves on helping those around us and the solutions we can provide.

Today, open your eyes and truly see what is happening around you. Let go of the pains and problems within, and focus on what is happening outside of yourself, beyond your small corner of the universe.

The Cosmic Interrelatedness of Everything

I have come to have this feeling of cosmic interrelatedness with everything. This is the realization that none of us are who we think we are. Many of us think of ourselves as individuals, as having our own will, as having our own personality, and of course, this is a valid perception.

But just as it is valid, it is equally invalid.

We have such an elitist view of humans in this world, thinking that we are all that matters, and all other creatures, trees, and plants are just background scenery. We are the stars of the show, and ultimately all that matters – at least, this is how we conduct ourselves. Once long ago, we were the stars, literally the stars. We are made up of the same matter as stardust, and then once long ago, all we were was fungi, and then once long ago, all we were was aquatic animals, and then hominids, and then here we are. When we discriminate and cause harm to other species and treat them as irrelevant, we treat the very process of that which became us as irrelevant. We undermine our own evolutionary history and its importance when we undermine these living beings. Thus, we must engage the minds of ourselves and our young ones in activities that allow them to see the common thread that weaves all life together. We need to find ways to profit together collectively rather than profit off one another, ending up stuck in bringing a net increase for one and a net decrease for the other.

We are not an island to ourselves – we are interrelated with everyone who has ever touched our lives. Without every person in your life and the environment and the planet, along with the sun and universe that keeps our planet in its place, you could not be who you are now. So we are just one tiny piece of a larger puzzle piece, of a larger puzzle piece, of a larger puzzle piece. And without you, you certainly cannot exist. Yet without every other piece of the universe falling as it did, you could not exist either.

Keep this in mind. Your personality is not yours, but a fusion or collection of all the personalities around you, especially those you spend more time around. Your desires are not all your own but rather a fusion of all those desires you see around you. Your individuality is not all your own, but again, a fusion of all the individualities around you. Even if you are the rebellious type and rebelled against everything you ever saw, everything the people around you did and believed, then your being is still a reaction or a sort of output to the input that was the rest of the world acting on you.

Don Miguel Ruiz (author of The Four Agreements, one of my favorite books) says that we are domesticated through our upbringing. We learn that it is good to behave in this way and not in that way. Most of those teachings have some reasoning behind them, but some may be arbitrary, contradictory, or even poorly reasoned or based on faulty information. The teachings of domestication guide our lives and our neighbors' lives, so it is difficult to escape.

You probably eat with a fork and knife, chopsticks, or some instrument in your culture. Well, some cultures eat primarily with their hands. To you, it may seem strange and off-putting to eat with your hands, yet to them, it may seem just as strange and off-putting to eat with an instrument. Your surroundings, context, and environment helped make you who you are. We all know this, but we tend to give too much credit to who we are as unique individual beings. Just keep in mind that who you are as a unique, individual being cannot be examined as something separate from the society that has helped create who you are.

Sometimes I feel that I am directly connected to some great individuals throughout history, many who are well known and respected by most people. Perhaps this is not as crazy as it seems. Such great individuals and many others have shaped this world so much that their ideas have personally impacted what we see and the people we interact with. And so it makes sense in a way that I can see these individuals in others, in the life around me, and even in myself. I respect and revere such individuals highly, and I learn about them and live by the best of their words and actions, and so in some ways, I am them. I aspire to be them, I dream of them, and in a way, I am these great individuals and more. As a simple example, I often draw on their words and quotes, and I consider what they would have done when I have to make a decision. Then, I aim to do just that.

If one day anyone ever looks to me and asks what I would have done and tries to emulate that in their lives, I would say that they have succeeded in drawing on my life energy and that I have become a part of them.

Think of this. There is a limited amount of water on the planet. There is a limited amount of oxygen. Yet, these compounds, or at least the atoms that make them up, will circulate on this planet over and over and over. Thus, on the atomic level, any of us at any given point have the same matter in us that anyone in history may have had – from powerful or famous individuals to plants, to animals already extinct (e.g., the dinosaurs), and so on.

At the material level, all of consciousness is relying on the same elements – hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, sulfur, phosphorus, etc. At the material level, we are all literally interrelated. We forget this because at any point in time, I am me, and you are you. But at another point in time, the matter that was in you may have cycled on to other lifeforms, and the matter of other lifeforms may have cycled on to become you. If you need a bit more elaboration, remember that we eat and go to the restroom every day – the matter that makes us up is not static.

Here is a quick story. The other day, I was arriving home after a walk, and I saw a small rock on the sidewalk. I just walked past it and went on home. Then I began to reflect on what I had done. I was operating on the assumption that this rock didn’t have much importance to me during my day. That was true, as this rock was never going to cause me any problems. I am still on the young side and healthy, and even if I tripped on it, I would probably be fine. Then I began to think of the interrelatedness of everything, and I realized that this small rock on the sidewalk could cause an older person to trip, fall, and fracture their hip. I realized that this small rock was connected to everything. Just as I’m connected to everything, so was the rock. Nothing escapes the nature of interrelatedness.

If someone yells at me without reason, calls me names, and tells me I’m good for nothing, this might affect my whole day. I might be put in a bad mood, which might ripple into spreading more bad moods to the people around me. That, in effect, may ripple out further and further in ways that are difficult to calculate.

Let’s go back to the rock. If I trip on that rock and fall and break my wrist, that may have all kinds of unwanted aftereffects. I may choose to drive even with a broken wrist, and then I may get into an accident and injure someone else. You see, one small rock can cause big, big problems.

Incidentally, on the universal scale, Earth is just a small rock.

The point is, we should remember that the little things matter, too. There is no such thing as a small rock. The rock is small in size but has the power to change lives, for better or worse.

If the rock stays out of the sidewalk, it is perfect. It is ornamental, it looks beautiful among all the other little rocks, it helps to delineate where the sidewalk ends and begins, and everyone is happy.

Don’t worry. The next time I left the house, I saw the same little rock at the same spot I had left it, and I put it out of the way.

We are all interrelated, affecting each other’s lives. Everything that impacts me ripples out and affects everyone near me, and then near them, and then near them. Everything that impacts even a small rock ripples out and affects everything near it, and then near it, and then near it.

Because we live in the internet and social media age, where information can impact people across the globe in seconds, there is great power in even the smallest of actions to ripple out and affect us all.

Sending a positive thought or comment to one person or doing something good can ripple out quite far. You may not see all those aftereffects of your thoughts or actions. But you have to imagine that they are happening because they are.

Live more consciously through all your actions and see that they affect all that is around you.

The Forces that Pull Us Apart and Make Us Who We Are

In the modern-day, we are pulled apart in many different directions. Religion tells us that a God is looking out for us, with a larger purpose in mind for humanity. Science cannot give us a reason for being here. It can just examine our parts and the nature of matter. Philosophy has shown us many perspectives on thinking and being but has not led us toward a particular direction for the future. History has told us how we got here, but not what we need to change to get where we need or want to be.

The other guiding forces are from our parents, peers, and society. Some people listen more to their parents, and some more to their peers, who could be friends, colleagues, or just the people one happens to be surrounded by for most of the day. Most of us listen somewhat to society, and those who stray too far often end up imprisoned or forgotten.

Often, neither our parents nor our peers quite have things figured out. They are just filling out their roles, as prescribed to them by their parents, peers, or society, informed by their religion, science, philosophies, and histories.

People do not know themselves well. We are told who we are or need to be by our parents, our education system, our society, but we are not led to investigate who we are properly. We are told who we are (or guided into being who others think we should be), and then we become who we were told we were. This may be a false self, created to appease the people around us or society.

As individuals, we are whole universes unto ourselves, as the universe at large does not exist on its own. The universe at large exists as an interplay between the mind and the universe, making the universe what we experience it to be. Another mind of a different sort would fabricate an entirely different universe – for instance, different colors, emotions, intuitions, beliefs, and visual perceptions would completely alter one’s personal universe. I am in my own self-created universe, and you are in your own universe – but of course, they do overlap.

We must ask ourselves how we can move forward as societies when we are pulled apart by different personal universes, beliefs, and messages that do not coalesce on any particular point? Religion pulls us in one direction, science in the other, our peers in another, and our true selves likely in yet another direction. Many of us are being pulled apart from our core. And not only from ourselves but by the people around us too.

It is no wonder that mental illness is so common. Perhaps individuals are not mentally ill, but society, which is pulling us in all directions, has made us this way.

Then we have an ongoing debate in the world about whether we should be led by reason or intuition, our analytical side, or our emotional side. This provides us with another split in the psyche.

Are you man enough or woman enough (or masculine or feminine enough)? People who do not naturally fit their expected roles may be made to feel that something is wrong with them, which of course, harms the psyche.

Then we have ideas of sexuality, in that you are either gay or straight – sure, we acknowledge more types now, but many people still see this as mostly two types of sexuality. So you are one thing or another, which splits the psyche of many people as well. If you are part of both or have different sides, you may not be accepted or understood.

We have race – are you white or not? Are you white enough? Black enough? You are artificially split based on skin tone, or possibly ancestry, even if that skin tone or ancestry may not represent who you are on the inside. Society tells us that to be white, you have to be pure (white from both your parents). Otherwise, you are treated as no longer truly white. A white and black person, for example, is treated as black, as was former President Barack Obama (who has a white mother). Often enough, other races or groups (e.g., Hispanic, Asian, Indian, Native American) are neglected from the general conversation, which could make them feel as if they are not relevant enough.

If you occupy two conflicting groups (as viewed by society) at once, society often decides what you are for you.

We are pressed to be in one of these poles, as the middle ground is often ignored. Are you rational or intuitive? Gay or straight? Black or white? Liberal or conservative? Religious or atheist? These are some examples of the categories of our lives. For every category you are in, there increases the chance that you will hate or be hated by individuals in the other group. We are all in multiple categories, so we all belong in groups that hate or are hated, and we tend to inherit that hate that our groups carry with them. We inherit this hate and are expected to carry it along, or we are treated as if we are not proper members of our group, and our own group will hate us. If that happens, we will be treated as “other” and destined to be forever lost and abandoned.

We grow up with this hatred all around us, and in the hearts of the people closest to us, so it seems normal. In fact, we often end up carrying the hatred (or anger, fear, disgust, etc.) of our ancestors. We inherit this hate and then pass it on to our families, and they pass it on to the next generation. At some point, we must realize that every individual is a member of various groups, and those groups may have longstanding problems with other groups. But there is no reason for us as individuals to absorb so much hatred and then pass it on.

How do we rise above the hatred? We pursue meaningful connections with more people. We pursue open-mindedness, empathy, deep listening, understanding, and we begin to acknowledge the role that our groups or we have played in causing problems. We consider deeply that some of the thoughts or beliefs of people in groups outside our own may be legitimate. At some point, our biases may have led us to believe that they were 100% wrong on everything, even when this is not reflected in reality. Likewise, they may have come to think that we were 100% wrong on everything, even when that was not the case.

One way to rise above all this is to see that we are not our categories. The categories are aspects of us, but they are not us. A book can be hardcover or softcover. It can have a red, blue, or yellow cover. It can have a catchy title or a boring one. There are all kinds of books, but ultimately, what should matter is whether the content inside is true and useful, entertaining, or whatever the objective may be with reading it. Just as with humans, we tend to forget that our personal content, or who we are at our core, is what actually matters, not all the superficial qualities that we happen to exhibit.

We must stop being blinded by the categories that people wear for us to see, often not even by choice. Instead, open your mind and look deeper into their true core of being.

Balance, Harmony, Contentment

We all want linear, steady growth in our lives. Some even want exponential growth if they are not easily satisfied. Many of us do not feel that we can be happy unless we are growing at all times, in all ways. We think that our bank accounts must grow, we must be getting happier, we must be praised more, we must be getting healthier, we must stop aging, we must always be beautiful or physically fit, and we must find more free time to do what we enjoy. How can anyone be happy, with so many goals and not enough time or ability to accomplish such extraordinary feats?

I have never heard of anyone who reached a point and said, “this is enough. I finally arrived.” So does that mean there is no point to arrive at? Rather than endpoints or goals to strive for, are we all actually more like the hamster on the hamster wheel? We get on the wheel, and not much is accomplished, but the next day we jump on again because we don’t know what else to do besides remaining in motion, appearing to make progress.

Ernest Hemingway said:

“Never mistake motion for action.”

Sometimes that is how we behave, though, as if mere movement indicated meaningful action. But of course, we are not hamsters, so we should have more thinking and reflective capacities.

It seems as if our very happiness is refuted by the fact that we aim to be happy. For example, have you ever been unhappy because you attempted to be happy and failed at it? You expected happiness yet did not receive it, and so this made you unhappy. Aside from that, everything was fine, and you had no other reasons to truly be unhappy.

Monetary wealth collapses on itself too. If a few people owned the vast majority of the planet’s wealth (so basically, the situation we are in), it would be quite easy for those wealthy people to amass more and more wealth by nature of their resources. Everyone else would increasingly feel as if they were poor and powerless in a rigged system. The rich are indeed getting richer, and everyone else is mostly working harder and harder to remain stagnant. Somehow with riches, we tend to carry the illusion that we are personally amassing something. But it ends up being an energy that is ultimately redistributed to others (even if that is to relatives or back to the government), just as everything else in life is.

When it comes to health, beauty, and fitness, we are also up against the clock. We can do our best to build and preserve these features in ourselves, but ultimately, all life perishes after a certain point.

If we look at the goal of life, from the universe’s perspective, at least, it appears to be death. Yes, you read the statement correctly, although it appears nonsensical. Life leads to death with 100% accuracy. So life appears to cause death. Being born appears to result in death.

So the universe is telling us that goals don’t make sense. If the universe’s goal with life is to have it die, then why? Well, with every death, life can thrive. Organic matter (or at least matter that was organic) is what living creatures eat. The more organisms die, the more other organisms can live. Perhaps the universe’s goal is to give us more life, even if that means death. However, the more life we have, the more it leads to death. If there are too many living organisms at once, then that means there is too much competition for limited resources and food, which would likely lead to rapid deaths – organisms killing each other to eat.

The universe presents us with many paradoxes, one of which is that more life leads to more death. And more death leads to more life. But ultimately, there is a balance.

And as with nature, which balances itself between life and death, I believe that a key purpose here in this life is to find our own balance and harmony. Shooting for endless growth in all areas of life is just futility. Extreme riches for one results in extreme poverty for others. Just as extreme poverty for some results in extreme riches for others. Aiming to be too healthy may, strangely enough, make your system fragile if one’s system gets used to needing the perfect combination of exercise and nutritional value at steady intervals. What happens when you do not have access to that “perfect” health routine? You will not feel so healthy.

This is why intermittent fasting appears to be gaining popularity. Stressing your system is part of what it takes to be healthy. Seeking optimization in any form, however, often works against us. The more you reach states of perfection in any facet of your life, the more ripples of flaws you will create in your life and others’ lives.

Do not get me wrong. I still aim to do my best. But I realize that doing my best requires making mistakes, faltering, learning lessons and sometimes failing to learn them, struggling to be myself, wasting time, wasting energy, repeating the same cycles of futility, aiming to help people but in some way failing, and so forth. The harder I try to do my best, the more self-defeating I may become. In just doing alright and avoiding catastrophic mistakes, I can maintain balance in more aspects of my life. If you work too hard to do your best in any single area, other areas of your life may eventually collapse.

I have heard many times about business people who had high aspirations, so they worked more and more, taking on too much. Then at some point, they had health troubles because they neglected to eat or sleep well, or they made no time for their loved ones and mental health. Then as their health faltered, they realized that they needed to cut back work, to have some form of balance in their lives. Sometimes our own nature guides us back to balance, even if we fight it.

Personally, I believe health is of the utmost importance. If we do not take good care of ourselves, we will lose our focus and be unable to make progress in the areas we find important.

Understand that the universe sets its limits. There is no such thing as endless growth in any direction. Eventually, all that is good comes to an end, just as eventually, all that is bad comes to an end. I believe the fruitful path is to seek some balance, harmony, and contentment. Seek it with yourself, your loved ones, nature, and everything.