7 Inspirational Life Lessons We Can All Learn From Oliver James (The Man Who Struggles with Reading)

Introducing Oliver James

Oliver James is a TikTok (and #BookTok) sensation, motivational speaker, and personal trainer.

In his TikTok videos, Oliver often introduces himself by saying “I’m a 34-year-old man who struggles with reading.” However, it wasn’t long ago that he would say “I can’t read.”

He opens up about many deep struggles he has gone through with learning to read and his mental health. His story has been so inspiring that he ended up being featured on ABC’s Good Morning America, the Rachael Ray Show, NPR, and other major outlets.

The way I came to learn about Oliver may surprise you — after all, it surprised me. Oliver’s partner gave him a book that I compiled, titled 365 Quotes to Live Your Life By. It was the first book he ever owned, which was the beginning of his journey of learning to read better.

Oliver James, Tiktok sensation, motivational speaker, and personal trainer holding up "365 Quotes to Live Your Life By".

Often, he would read one or two quotes from the book while doing a workout session. Since the quotes are short, he did not need to spend too much time on them. Importantly, with this book, he had no excuse to avoid reading. There are at least 10 videos where he reads from the 365 Quotes book while he does a workout or after he reflects on his challenges with learning to read.

As 365 Quotes to Live Your Life By inspired Oliver, I was also inspired the more I learned about his story, and the more I realized how much of an effect a single book could have on someone.

As I browsed his videos, I was amazed at who this person is and what he has accomplished, and the shining path that he is illuminating in front of him. I’ve seen most of his videos at this point, and they are truly inspiring.

Oliver James has a greater depth of wisdom and understanding in him that is perhaps not apparent at first glance.

It’s easy to assume in this life that we know better than someone else because we have more education, financial resources, a better social network, status, or whatever it may be. But I will continue to tune in to see what Oliver is doing because I know that this is just the beginning. And I know that I and many others can learn from his struggle, experience, and the insights he shares.

Below are 7 Inspirational life lessons we can all learn from Oliver James, the man who struggles with reading (and who used to say “I can’t read”). To be clear, some of this post involves information I learned from his TikTok videos (@oliverspeaks1), including his words, and some of this is my elaboration or further thoughts on what he has said or done.

1) Start somewhere – Take the initiative.

A theme I’ve noticed in my own life, and the lives of many people lately is that just starting anything seems incredibly challenging. It’s common to build something up in our heads as being more difficult than it has to be. Then we may find ourselves thinking about starting, or talking about starting, but not actually doing it.

However, thinking about something without acting on it can be futile. If you want to help someone, go out and help them. If you want to make a change to better your life, then take a step toward that. Whatever it is you want to do, make sure you are taking action. A thought, even if it is positive, hopeful, or useful, can only take you so far when it comes to improving yourself.

The question is: What gives us that spark, that drive, or initiative? In Oliver’s case, he realized something. He saw that he would not be the best model for his kids if he could not read. Why would Oliver expect his son to be a great reader and achieve his dreams if he didn’t focus on this himself?

Ultimately, he saw that his life was not going in the right direction and all the difficulties that he was going to continue to have if he could not read. Oliver understood the pain that not knowing how to read well was causing him and the people around him, and he wanted to change that.

This type of realization can be a key motivator for any of us. When we see the pain we are causing and perpetuating, it is natural to want to stop this and embark on a new and better path. This is when you become empowered, find the courage within, and take action toward your goals.

Whatever it is that provides that spark in us, we need to tune into that if we ever expect to take major actions in our lives that lead to improvement.

What is so important in your life that you can’t afford to turn away from it any longer? Like Oliver, we have to see that for what it is and get started somewhere.

2) Work on your goals in your way.

Oliver’s goal for 2023 is to read 100 books. That would be quite an impressive feat, wouldn’t it?

Well, in one of his videos, Oliver discusses how some people don’t think he will be able to read 100 books in a year. Many people who read regularly, after all, still do not read 100 books in a year. And he is still learning and struggling. But Oliver knows that the goals other people set for themselves do not matter, or whatever opinion they may have about his goals also do not matter.

This is his personal goal that he has set for his reasons, and he will attempt to achieve this in a way that works for him. It may involve reading children’s books, or simpler books, as he isn’t trying to fulfill this goal in any way other than what works for him.

Oliver says, “If you set a goal, and you’re doing it at your pace, and you’re doing it for you, that’s all that matters.”

Often, we work on goals that someone else set out for us, in the way that they want us to work on them. This means we work on them in ways that don’t necessarily make us happy or that don’t allow us to function at our highest potential. Rather, we should listen to Oliver and tackle our goals in our way, for our own reasons.

Keep in mind that if Oliver was concerned with learning to read how other people say he should, perhaps he never would have gotten started. Conventional wisdom may say that you should start with a tutor, with a class, or with a particular kind of software or system meant for learning to read. But it seems Oliver decided that the most important thing was to get started and to read in the way that appealed to him and where he was able to get something done.

His partner gave him 365 Quotes to Live Your Life By, and he decided he would take it on his workouts, drives, and wherever he was going, and he would read a quote or two when he had the chance. Many people may say that this isn’t the right way. But it doesn’t matter, as long as Oliver is reading in the way that works for him.

To summarize, Oliver realized that to change his life, and keep himself from feeling stuck, he would need to learn to read. That motivated him to take the initiative. Then he worked on his goals his way, as he understood that this was the only way he would ever learn to read. What works for other people won’t necessarily work for him, so he didn’t concern himself with that.

When you have an important life goal, ask if you are approaching this in the best way that works for you, or if you have allowed too many people to tell you how you should be approaching this. Then, is their input helping, or is it just holding you back?

If their input is holding you back, consider Oliver’s next tip.

3) Don’t listen to the people who focus on the negative. Don’t let them restrict your potential.

One of Oliver’s TikTok videos shows a young woman who makes extremely negative and hurtful remarks when someone asks if she would date someone who could not read.

He responds to her hurtful words, as he wants his audience to learn a lesson here: “People’s words, they don’t mean nothing. Don’t let nobody label you. You are as smart as you think you are. Don’t worry about what anybody else says.”

As I already mentioned, when you have a goal, some people may criticize that the goal isn’t the right one, or that it is unrealistic. When people find out that you are not skilled at something, they may attack your intellect, ability, or motivation. Of course, regardless of what we choose to do in this life, there will be critics.

Constructive criticism can be useful and help us to make progress, but when someone is negative and hurtful without any purpose behind it, that is something that we have no reason to allow into our lives.

I am grateful to hear that Oliver does not allow the negativity to distract him from his purpose. He knows he wants to learn to read better, that he must get better at reading to improve his life, and that there is no reason to allow some negative comments to derail his plans. His plans are bigger than that.

Oliver took the initiative of getting started to read, and he focused on learning in his way, but he must also push through any negativity that others use to try to make themselves feel superior, or to doubt his potential, even if it may be well-intentioned in some cases.

We must retain our power of being able to clear the mind, stay focused, and know that we are capable of getting to where we need or want to be. Don’t allow the negativity to steer you off course, or to limit what you are truly capable of.

Redirect your focus onto the larger goal here, whatever that is in your life.

4) Pursue something that challenges you, and stop avoiding it.

One of my favorite things that Oliver says is “What hard and challenging thing are you doing for you that might make you a better you?”

Most of us know that challenge is a part of life, and it doesn’t help you to always seek comfort. You get tougher, stronger, and better by pursuing challenges. But the reason these words were so special is the person who says them.

Oliver was placed in special education as a child and treated abusively. He served over three years of his life in prison because through a lack of knowledge, he didn’t realize that trafficking weapons was a crime. He suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. He spent most of his life being functionally illiterate. In his own words, reading saved his life.

Perhaps it is cliché to say, but this is a person who seems like he would be a statistic, a cautionary tale. Rather, he has transformed his experiences into an inspiration for the world, and more importantly, he is learning to read so that he can be a better person, and hopefully make progress on his issues and ultimately accomplish his dreams.

When a person with such life experiences speaks to you, even if through a TikTok video, the words shine in a truly meaningful way. He isn’t coming from a place of judgment. Rather, it’s just an honest assessment — if Oliver James is pushing himself to learn to read, then we can all do something that challenges us every day.

Some of his personal challenges include mental health issues, a learning disability, and of course, not knowing how to read well. There is an even more fundamental issue in his life that interfered with his ability to learn to read, but we will discuss that in our next point.

Despite all the challenges he faces every day, he urges his audience to pursue a challenge in their lives and to seek to become better.

Oliver went most of his life avoiding reading, and as soon as he decided to face the challenge head-on, to always keep a book on him, and to stop making excuses, his life began to change. This is the second part of this lesson.

We must stop avoiding that challenging part of our lives that we don’t want to deal with.

This is the part where you may ask – How can I get the courage? Where can I start? Who can help? All of these types of questions are the exact reason it is a challenge. There is no simple road map to show you the way. Don’t you think Oliver went 34 years of his life wondering the same thing? Don’t you think he stopped and wondered who was going to come and help him? In one of his videos, he discusses realizing that no one was coming to save him. He was going to have to do it himself.

In time, he has gained so much support and fans, but it began with him choosing to work on his goals for himself. He stopped trying to avoid and escape the challenge, and instead decided to pursue it. No one else could do that for him.

We should all be willing to dive deep into a challenge in our lives. The deeper we dive in, the more we can grow.

5) Be open, sincere, and honest

In one video, Oliver says “I want to be as real and honest as I can so I can develop into a better person.”

Being honest and truthful has been fundamental in Oliver’s ability to make progress on his reading journey. To make progress at anything, you have to be real with what the situation is. In this case, Oliver was functionally illiterate. He could read some words, and understand things in a very basic way, but up until recently, he didn’t even feel capable of reading a menu in a restaurant.

He has been asked why he didn’t learn to read when he was younger, and his response was surprising, yet honest. He was physically abused when he was in the special education system as a child. The system was more interested in controlling and restraining him than they were in educating him. That abuse made it so Oliver didn’t have the energy to focus on learning to read, or on learning anything for that matter. Instead, he thought of ways he could get expelled so that he didn’t need to be there at all.

As they say, “the truth hurts,” but Oliver was willing to discuss this uncomfortable reality with his audience, because he understands that this is the path to progress. He is not running away from reality. It’s better to be honest with himself and the world.

Many people are interested in Oliver’s journey, as he has over 129,000 followers as I write this. And I believe people are attracted to someone open and sincere about who he is, who he was, and where he wants to go in life. The truth of Oliver’s situation is not all pleasant, but the fact that he is open and honest will help him to find the path to improvement. Likely, his honesty makes his followers want to help him as well

But if we hide from our problems, our insecurities, and our struggles, then we will not grow. If your energy and attention go to covering up your issues rather than shining a light on them and doing something about it, how can you expect to make progress?

Some people want to pretend that they are doing well — that everything in their life is perfect — but if we do that, then at some point our energy goes to maintaining the illusion that things are going well, rather than making improvements in our lives that we need to make. Again, if your focus is on appearing to be doing well, then when are you going to find the time to make real improvements?

Like Oliver, we must learn to be open and truthful about the struggles we are going through, and the problems of our lives. We must have the courage to face the reality of who we are, where we’ve been, and the problems of our lives. That is the only way to make progress.

If you do not want to share your struggles and problems with the world, that is fine. But at least dare to be sincere and truthful with yourself. Stop hiding from it.

6) Love yourself (You have to love yourself)

Oliver says that one of the greatest lessons he learned through his reading journey was that “I have to love myself.”

As many of us do, he likely struggled to love himself because he found it difficult to accept some less favorable aspects of himself or his life. As long as we want to escape who we are, it is difficult to truly love ourselves. It seems that self-love comes from learning self-acceptance. We may work to learn and grow in certain ways, such as becoming a better reader or learning a skill, but it’s also important to see that there is no need to become something that we are not. The core of who we are is fine, and is someone we must love, and is always worthy of love.

Fortunately, Oliver understands that he needs to love himself, and he needs to work on that. He knows that nothing good comes from being too hard on himself.

I hope you understand: We all need to be kind, understanding and accepting of ourselves. A key reason we have to learn to love ourselves is that it’s very difficult to love anyone else if you can’t even love yourself. We must be mindful of the type of energy we are putting into ourselves because that is the same thing we put out into the world.

Yet, even if the world around us seems especially difficult, troubling, or hurtful, we must find a way to love. Remember that we are good inside, we are worthy, beautiful, and with tremendous potential. Perhaps it is difficult to find love for ourselves at times, but we need to work on it. Strive to see yourself in a better light each day. Practice being understanding and forgiving with yourself.

In life, we often crave for someone to love us, to see us as beautiful, smart, or worthy somehow. But the key is to start to see this for yourself. Why wait for someone else to see it when you can work on this yourself? When you see it, your love grows.

I am aware that many, or perhaps most of us go through self-doubt, we think harshly of ourselves in our minds, or we find it hard to let go of mistakes that we made. And part of this is just being human. It’s not easy to completely let go of all negativity, and we can’t expect to accomplish that either. Nonetheless, we must find our way back to Love.

Love is the foundation.

When on the path to bettering yourself, as Oliver is, you have to return to love, because it’s all too easy to be hard on yourself. You try something challenging, and it may not go the way you hoped. Rather than get into self-doubt or self-hatred or excessive negativity, allow the love to flow through you.

7) “Be happy even when you don’t want to be.”

This last life lesson is a tip that Oliver James gave to his son. He appears to be giving parenting advice, but I believe this is advice that we all need to hear. If anything, the adults need to hear this more than the children.

Oliver says, “One of the keys to staying young and feeling happy is to be happy even when you don’t want to be. When you feel frustrated, when you don’t feel good, you don’t feel happy with the decision that you have to make… try your best inside to still be happy.”

My way of thinking of his advice is that this is how happiness is created in the world. If you are only happy when the situation is good, then that is expected. It is easy — no energy or effort has been required from you. However….

If you can be happy or strive to see the good in situations that are not the best, then you are creating happiness in your own life. You are making it happen.

Many of us may have a difficult time understanding this advice, and that is because to get to the point of striving to be happy even when you don’t feel it, you must understand that happiness or your state of mind is not always occurring due to outside events. We have some control over our thoughts, and with that, we also influence our emotions.

Don’t wait for happiness to come to you. Make it happen.

If you are on your way to work, and someone rear-ends your vehicle and they cause some damage, then you have the choice as to how you think about this.

Most people may get upset and believe that someone distracted on their phone probably hit them, and then the insurance isn’t going to cover this because it’s not that much damage anyway, but it’s still going to be expensive, and they’re going to be late for work, and the boss isn’t going to be happy, and so forth.

But if you practice striving to be happy even when the circumstances are not the best, you can get to the point where you may react differently.

You may react with concern for the other driver, and make sure that everyone is okay. You may realize that as long as everyone is okay, that is what is important here. You can always find a way to pay for any damage that you need to, or you can simply continue to drive the vehicle even with the damage, and life will go on. You can also decide that even if you are late for work and the boss doesn’t understand that you have a reason for it, then perhaps it was time to find a better boss and job anyhow.

How do you think these different ways of thinking and reacting will influence your emotions and your happiness? Don’t take my word for it. See if you can change the way you think about negative events in your life. Then see how that influences your happiness or your emotions and well-being.

The trick is to practice being happy even when the situation seems to be an unhappy one. Practice this, then when someone rear-ends your car one day, you will find a way to be happy through it.

Think about it — so many of us want happiness in this life, but what are we doing to actually work on it? Are we putting in the effort to be happy even when there is a mild inconvenience? If the slightest problem is enough to make you feel unhappy, sad, or moody, then this is something worth working on.

I won’t ask you to pretend to be happy, as that is not what this piece of advice is about. It’s about making an inner effort to see that most things in life are not worth feeling unhappy about. You have so much going for you in this life that you just need to open your eyes to it and see it and be grateful for it. Be happy with what is — don’t allow yourself to become unhappy because something didn’t go the way you wanted.

Oliver James was functionally illiterate for 34 years of his life. He doesn’t allow that fact to make him an unhappy and bitter person. He is working on changing things and improving every day. That is all he can do. We can’t expect any more than that.

This month, or likely this year, I will be working on putting all of these bits of advice into practice in my life. I hope that you do this too.

If Oliver is doing it, why can’t you? What is stopping you? As I said in my prior post, every moment presents a choice. What choices are you making?

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I didn’t want to crowd the post above with too many links. Below are some resources you may wish to check out:

Oliver James’ TikTok channel - A TikTok account is NOT required

365 Quotes to Live Your Life By - Oliver began his reading journey with this book

Good Morning America (ABC) - Oliver James shares his story with the world

Oliver James’ video - this is one of my favorite motivational clips

Oliver James’ video - this is one of my favorite clips that includes 365 Quotes to Live Your Life By

Where is Your Life’s Blood?

One of the most important things is to have something in your life that energizes you. To accomplish this, I actually try to forget any rational and practical life plans I’ve made for myself.

I’m not talking about a desire to move to a nicer place, finish that degree, or even find a special someone to spend your life with. I’m not talking about accumulating money or things.

I speak of something that runs deeper in us, in our life’s blood.

Today, I am curious how you may answer some of these questions:

• What is the last time you felt alive, truly alive? What were you doing?

• What gets you excited when you can pursue it? Having it is not the most important thing – simply being able to pursue it is wonderful on its own.

• What would truly disappoint you and make you feel like a part of you had died if it were taken away from you? (e.g., this may be a person, place, thing, action, passion, or idea)

• What gives you the feeling of flow? A feeling of timelessness, complete focus, great challenge, and yet finding joy in that challenge, of getting lost in the moment. (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, one of my favorite books.)

• When are you so happy that you stop caring about all the problems you face?

• What is the source of this life’s blood of yours? Is it your will to love? To be loved? To help? To challenge yourself to your limits in a way that is still enjoyable? To feel a thrill? To be a hero?

• Is there something you do that carries great risks? Yet despite the risk, it’s well worth doing to you?

• Is there something you could do all day, and you would be happy to do it? Even perhaps without pay or acknowledgment?

• Is there someone or a group where you feel like they are your true family? They awaken a deeper part of you that you didn’t even know was in there?

As I write these questions, I am aware that some of these could point toward clearly negative behaviors such as drug abuse – of course, I’m not encouraging anything of that nature. I am hoping to get you to find something positive that energizes you.

Unfortunately, sometimes as the days pass us, we can slip into a sort of comatose version of ourselves, just going through the motions, just putting in the work to get us from point A to point B, responding as we think we’re supposed to respond, just working toward that next promotion so that we can work toward the one that comes after it. If this sounds familiar, you may be stuck in the busy, entertained, exhausted cycle. Perhaps we all slip up in that way sometimes, but this is not the way to live our lives.

If you find that happening to you, I hope you can ask yourself where your life’s blood is. What truly excites and stimulates you and is worth doing on its own? Bring more of that into your life.

Perhaps you haven’t found it yet - that is fine, then you must work on finding it.

I see some people sometimes, and I can’t help but ask: Where has their life’s blood gone? I can’t judge too much. It has happened to me in the past. Perhaps it happens to all of us at times. The important thing is not to get stuck there.

Dealing with Barriers on the Path to Living Your Purpose

Often people begin on the path to their purpose, and they come across a barrier that holds them back from accomplishing what they want to. Sometimes this barrier presents a huge weight on their shoulders, constantly reminding them that they cannot make much of a difference after all.

This tends to crush our spirits. Sometimes we have studied many, many years and obtained multiple degrees or worked our way up the chain of command to get to the position we had dreamed of finally.

Then, nothing goes the way it is supposed to. Plans do not work as intended. The resources aren’t there. Budget cuts. Downsizing. The right talent is lacking.

We tend to have this ideal vision of our lives, and reality rarely lives up to what we had imagined.

Are there any barriers in your life holding you back from meeting your objectives and living out your purpose?

Barriers can come in many forms. They may be:

• Colleagues that are too competitive and which do not help each other, rather than working as a team

• The lack of funds, without a clear path to acquiring them

• Personal problems such as health issues (in yourself or a loved one)

• Too much bureaucracy or paperwork and procedures that must be followed (or not enough of them when they should be in place)

• Too many demands on your time and energy, leaving you drained

• A lack of clarity in what path to pursue to meet your objectives

• A realization that no matter how hard you work, you cannot truly meet your objectives, which becomes discouraging

• A boss with a different vision, temperament, or perspective than you and that wants to impose his way on you

• A complete lack of motivation, probably due to some other barriers you are facing

A simple way to know if you have found your purpose is to ask yourself:

Is this worth doing even if I fail? Is this worth doing, even if it presents me with immense challenges? Is it worth doing even if I don’t earn quite as much as I would like?

Many of us are worried about failure. I say, “So what?” Failure is not the worst thing. Failure will present you with the opportunity to learn and grow and decide whether what you are doing was truly worth it to you, to begin with.

Ask yourself this about your chosen path:

Ultimately, is it worth doing even if I realize that no matter how hard I work, I will never accomplish my goals in the way I want to?

Some people may come to realize that they cannot meet their goals. If your goal is to save lives, you may come to understand that there is no way for you to help everyone. Some patients will die, and there will not be anything you can do about it. Then you have to ask yourself if it is worth doing even though you can never meet your goals perfectly. More importantly, is it worth doing your best and trying to help everyone that you can, even when you know that sometimes it will not work out in the end?

Also, ask yourself:

Is this a field where I can look forward to the great challenges I will face, rather than expecting it always to be easy?

Hopefully, you will get to a point where you look forward to the challenges you will face. You will want to be challenged because, with those challenges, you will only improve your skills and get better at successfully fulfilling your purpose.

Understand that even if you have found your purpose, this does not make life easy, counter to what many may think. Even after finding purpose, people still struggle to be motivated in the face of obstacles. They still struggle with the need to earn a certain amount of income. They still struggle with being uncertain as to whether they are even on the right path.

The reality is that barriers will always be there. It doesn’t matter whether you work for yourself or someone else, whether you have the support of your colleagues or not, whether you are motivated or not. It doesn’t matter whether you are working on your true purpose or just a job where you can get paid.

There will always be obstacles on your path. The question is: Are they worth dealing with? Do you believe strongly enough in what you are doing for all of this to be worth it?

I will urge you to find a field to work in and find a purpose for yourself where you are excited to work on it despite the barriers that will inevitably come up. Find something so worthwhile to you that any barrier is just a temporary setback.

No barrier should truly hold you back from working on your purpose-driven goals.

When you are working on your purpose, don’t allow the barriers to take your sight off your true objectives. If you have clients – return your focus to helping them meet their goals. If you are doing research, return your focus to doing good science. If you are a student, return your focus to learning what truly matters to you.

You may need to return to the fundamentals to remind yourself what you are after.

Perhaps one day, you get yelled at by your boss in front of your colleagues, and it’s not even for a good reason. This is obviously a difficult situation to deal with, but are you making progress on goals that are deeply important to you? Ultimately, this is what matters. Is your boss yelling just a minor obstacle on the path to living your purpose?

Consider this:

Are you working on your purpose now? Have you already found it?

Are you happy to work on it, no matter the obstacle?

Or are you ready to call it quits? Your heart isn’t in this, and perhaps it never was?

I will not urge you to keep going or to quit. Only you can make these choices for yourself.

But if you have found your purpose – then likely this will be worth hanging onto and pursuing in the face of all the obstacles. If you truly do not like your circumstances, there may be other options - you may be able to fulfill your purpose working for someone else or even working for yourself.

Or, if you are facing too many barriers without truly having your heart in what you are doing, then perhaps this is no longer worth it. If you feel drained and deadened, day by day without any true sense of fulfillment, it may be time to move on and seek your purpose elsewhere.

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This is Part 3 of 3 posts on finding purpose. Here are the other two posts:

My Purpose Journey - A Winding Road

STOP Resisting Your Purpose and START Living It

STOP Resisting Your Purpose, and START Living It

A problem many of us have is that we are our own greatest obstacle. We have denied our own purpose rather than pursued it.

Most of us have a good sense of what we are supposed to be doing with our lives, but we don’t know that we know. Years of denying our true self, our true feelings, and our own hearts have gotten us to the point where we don’t know what we were meant to do.

Here are some tips to stop resisting yourself so that you can actually make progress on living out your purpose.

STOP listening to what everyone says you should do, and START doing what you know you are meant to do

Most of us miss out on our purpose because we listen too much to what other people think we should be doing. Your family may want you to earn more money or to have a career with a good reputation, but ultimately you are the one living your life. If you do not like your job or life, no one else will have to deal with it every day except for you.

Something to keep in mind is that many industries are unpredictable. An industry that earns very well today may go bankrupt tomorrow. This can happen whether we are fulfilling our purpose or not, of course. However, if I’m going to go bankrupt, personally, I would rather have it happen while I am pursuing my purpose rather than pursuing a career that I had no interest in.

It’s not a pretty sight to study and work hard only to hate your life and job, just to earn a decent paycheck, and then have your whole industry go bankrupt overnight.

While working on my purpose, I know that I will be fiercely determined to keep doing my work. That’s because it isn’t just work, and it isn’t just a way to earn a paycheck. When you work on your purpose, you will be more likely to be among the best at what you do, and even if parts of your industry go bankrupt, you will find the motivation and the reason to keep going, and perhaps you will even thrive under adversity.

STOP working for a paycheck, and START working for a greater purpose

When your paycheck is the best thing about your life’s path or your job, then perhaps you should reconsider your direction. Of course, it’s nice to make money, but I believe we should be working for a deeper reason. Generally, you should want to improve yourself, people around you, or the world in some way through your work.

In my opinion, it’s more rewarding to earn money as a byproduct of living out your life’s purpose, rather than having the money be the central thing that you are focused on.

When you know your purpose, you can focus fully on doing your best at this, and the money will follow. I believe people have a good sense for when someone is doing something that they truly care about and want to help with versus when someone is motivated primarily to earn income.

I am happy to pay people for their work when they are highly motivated and working on their purpose. Rather, when they view me as dollar signs, I am not always happy to pay them, and I may not return for their service again. For me, it is easy to notice when someone is unhappy at their work versus when someone is deeply motivated by a higher purpose. You will notice this too if you pay attention.

But the tricky part is - Can you notice this in yourself? Are you truthful with yourself when you are unhappy with your life’s direction?

Ask yourself: Is your purpose shining through in your life, or are you dragging your feet every day?

By the way, whether you like your job or not, I think you should aim to do your best. Many people don’t want to be where they are in life – this doesn’t give us the right to treat others poorly or do our work half-heartedly.

STOP giving up on yourself, and START believing in yourself

Many of us can end up in jobs we don’t like, don’t believe in, and possibly where we don’t even get paid well. When you give up or don’t believe in yourself, it’s easy to take lower-level jobs that offer no path to a better future.

Unfortunately, it’s also easy to get stuck there for life.

If you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t see the point of meeting your purpose because you will assume that you would fail. Or perhaps you don’t want to fail in front of other people – you are worried about what they will say or think.

When you are feeling stuck and ready to give up on yourself, consider what you have to lose by trying to fulfill your true purpose? Nothing at all. Why not give it a shot?

Ultimately, we must believe in ourselves so that we can fulfill our true purpose. The next best thing is to find someone who believes in you. In time, their belief in you will help you to believe in your own abilities.

Note that a belief in yourself doesn’t mean that you think you are the best. It doesn’t even mean that you are necessarily prepared to meet your purpose. It just means that you know you can learn what you need to, and build the experience you need, to go on the path toward meeting your purpose.

STOP talking about what you will do, and START doing it

Many people get stuck in talking about what they want to do, what their purpose or their dream is, and they never actually do it. I think it’s best that when you know your purpose or your dream, you shouldn’t even talk about it at all. The more you talk, the more you will feel like you are making some progress because you discuss your ideas. However, nothing is actually getting done.

Personally, I spend very little time discussing my ideas. I prefer to use that energy on outlining, organizing, planning, and implementing those ideas.

Someone can argue that in discussing ideas, it helps you figure out which ones are good. That may be true, but it’s hard to judge an idea if it hasn’t been implemented on some level. Consider going for a Minimum Viable Product (MVP), where you create something small to see what people think of it. Instead, if you want to write a novel, write a short story and get some feedback on it. There is no need to discuss your novel idea with everyone – in the worst case, you may get negative feedback and become discouraged.

Some people may be able to talk a lot about their ideas and execute them, but in my experience, those who talk more execute less and sometimes do not execute at all.

STOP getting stuck in the same old patterns, and START creating the life you want and need to happen

If you struggle to find your purpose, it may be because you have allowed yourself to get stuck in a job you do not care for or in a life situation that you do not care for. When we find ourselves in such a place, of course, we can feel drained, bored, or overwhelmed.

Someone who works at a full-time job that they do not care about will probably not feel energized to meet their purpose.

However, when you are stuck in a place you do not want to be, your options are limited. It doesn’t seem realistic to quit your stable job and then hope to land your dream job, not without any planning, anyway.

The main option I have seen work is to stay at your stable job and then pursue your purpose or your dream on the side. For example, how much progress could you make on your purpose by working evenings and weekends? Of course, this can seem overwhelming, but you have to ask yourself – is your purpose worth it?

Even if all you can do is work on your purpose (or develop your skills so that you can work on your purpose) for half an hour per day, it is worth doing. Small, steady progress is still something.

Ask yourself: Do you want to wake up in twenty years at the same job you can’t stand, and not having made any progress on your purpose just because you made up excuses?

STOP worrying about your resume, and START learning what you need to make progress

When I started on the path toward my purpose, I used to worry a lot about my resume. I used to think – if working for myself doesn’t work out, then I will have a gap of unemployment and a lack of skill development in my timeline. I was completely wrong. Through working on my purpose, I had become self-employed. I had become my own boss, and I was doing the tasks that I had decided were best for my business.

The reality is it took time before I felt like I was making real progress. But as the years passed, I realized that I was gaining skills and improving my abilities day by day. Eventually, I realized that I was learning more self-employed than I would have working for a company. This is because my standards were high, and I was working on a variety of projects that required a variety of skill sets. When I didn’t know how to do something, I took the time to learn it and improve at it.

I laugh now at any concerns about the resume. I don’t even have a resume, but I have developed many skills along the way to living my purpose, as I regularly learn new skills and advance my abilities on my purpose journey.

When you live your purpose, you will learn any skills you need to get the job done because you will be doing what truly matters to you. Whether you work for yourself or someone else, you will be driven by a higher need to make your purpose a reality, and you will be more motivated to learn and develop your abilities this way.

STOP listening too much to reason, and START listening to your heart

Ultimately, I think we all have a feeling for what we are truly supposed to be doing. When you dread every day because you can’t stand your life’s path, it should be quite evident that you have denied your life’s purpose and that this is not the best path for you.

As much as reason is a powerful tool for finding solutions, we can also get stuck in reason. I have often seen people reason their way into bad life choices and causing problems in their lives. When considering your life’s purpose, don’t crowd out your heart’s desires with too much reason.

When you listen to your heart, you will be guided along a much better path.

When you deny your heart, you will always wish you were doing something else in the back of your mind. With this, how successful can you truly be? You may feel like a fraud, living a life that you knew was not truly meant for you. You may always be left wondering – Why didn’t I take a chance on what I truly wanted to do?

It’s easy for everyone around you to tell you that you won’t make it, that you aren’t talented or skilled enough, but how can you know unless you do it?

Many people will tell you, “But what if it doesn’t work out?” This is well-meaning, but if you have failure on your mind when you’re beginning on a new path, this is already a bad way to start.

Keep in mind that I am a highly practical person, and I am still telling you to listen to your heart. Listen to your head too. If you need the income to stay afloat, then keep your stable job, or find the best-paying job you can find. But don’t get stuck in that for your whole life. Work on what your heart wants you to do so that eventually, you can dedicate most of your time to your life’s true purpose.

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This is Part 2 of 3 posts on finding purpose. Here are the other two posts:

My Purpose Journey - A Winding Road

Dealing with Barriers on the Path to Living Your Purpose

Who Are You Following?

Most of us are following someone or some group in our lives. As humans, we have strength in numbers, so it is natural for us to belong to a group or various groups.

There are all kinds of groups – your country of origin or ethnicity, age group, hobbies, religion, politics, ethical beliefs, athleticism, occupation, income, and so on.

Take a moment to consider who you are following in this life. Some of the groups you fall in may not be so important to you, but others may have a major influence on your life.

Ask:

What are the groups and leaders that act as a guiding force on your life?

Following is not bad, just as leading is not bad, but we should question whether you are following or leading. What exactly is your group's destination?

Are you truly motivated to work toward betterment, or are you just motivated to live life as a sport where winning is the only true goal?

Are you motivated to think for yourself or to have someone conveniently lay out a plan of action that you can follow without much thought?

Does it matter that what you do is right and good, or are you fine with anything as long as your group wins and gains advantages?

Some of us have lost sight of what is important.

We have decided that winning is all that matters. Or we have decided that having our group like and approve of us is what truly matters. We have come to think that if something makes us feel good, then it is good. And this is not necessarily the case.

We must think deeper.

At the end of the day, are we truly doing what is right?

A good follower should still lead his own mind and does not need a leader to tell him what to think. We should not follow blindly but use the mind and heart to come to our own conclusions.

Ask if your mind is on autopilot, where you hear something from your group, and you automatically assume it to be valid without properly considering alternatives. When this happens, people will repeatedly echo the same thoughts, making them appear valid even if they are not. From there, if the group is influential enough, major world actions can be implemented, such as encouraging people to be harassed or bullied, changing the laws, and in the most extreme cases even war or a great divide, without a good and justifiable reason.

Some people or groups want us to believe something, and so they will spread the information (or misinformation) that benefits their cause, even if it is misguided or untrue.

Today, consider this:

Are you going to lead yourself or be led any way that your groups want to take you?

Are you going to consider the “facts” for yourself, or allow someone else to compile them, analyze them, and then sell you the story that they want you to believe?

You have the right to follow any leader or group you like, but take some time to think for yourself – no one else should do your thinking for you.

Tomorrow’s post will cover some tips and tools for better thinking.