Stay Connected with the People Who Matter Most
Most people now have large networks of people that they know. There may be family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances (or friends of friends), professional connections, and so on.
Our networks get larger and larger, but also more and more superficial. We know more and more people, but we know less and less about them.
Through the years, I find that it’s very easy to lose the connections that were actually the most important to our lives. If given enough time, the ties get weaker and weaker, to the point where they can break off after a certain point.
Of course, if you had a strong enough connection with someone, you should always have some ability to reconnect and continue your bond or friendship.
Today, I want you to consider if there are people with who you are gradually losing connection but who are worth keeping up with. Just because one of you moved or changed jobs does not mean that you cannot keep in contact.
Some simple ways to maintain a connection are email, social media, messaging, or phone calls. Of course, there are even letters or postcards.
What I have found is that staying connected is a two-way street. You may try to stay in touch with someone, but perhaps they don’t make much of an effort. Perhaps they are content to allow some of their relationships to fade away with time. This can be difficult, of course, but you can only do your part to try to keep up with relationships that are important to you.
Who have you lost touch with that made a big impact on your life? Is there someone you would like to reconnect with?
In some cases, perhaps you actually had a problem with someone. You can ask whether that problem is worth losing contact over. Sometimes it may be, but in other cases, perhaps with time, you have seen that the issue was not major enough to hold a grudge over. It may be time to make amends and reconnect.
What I have found is that good friends are worth keeping in contact with. Close family is also worth keeping in contact with. Sometimes certain bonds may not be as strong as you would like – of course, in those cases, working on continuing to develop those bonds and friendships is worth it.
It’s easy to make excuses - but that’s all they are, excuses. We all have a few moments here and there to send an email, a message, or even make a phone call. No one is so busy that they can’t periodically check in on someone important to their lives.
You may be interested to learn that the author of The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying (read a useful summary on her website here), Bronnie Ware, actually identified this as one of the common regrets people had when they were dying:
“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
Some of my best friendships go back to middle school and high school. Unfortunately, with three of my closest friends, they ended up moving away during high school, and I never kept in touch with them after this. I did manage to find one of them on social media, but the other two I have never heard from again.
Sometimes we don’t realize the value of certain relationships until it is too late and we have lost them.
Try to think of someone worth reconnecting with (or building a deeper connection with) in your life. Consider this:
Is this someone you love?
Is this someone who supported you during a difficult time?
Is this someone who you grew up with, and you were there for each other?
Is this someone that you miss?
Is this someone who you regret having fought with over issues that now seem trivial?
Is this a friend or family member (e.g., cousin or aunt) who felt more like a sibling or second parent?
Is this someone who you “clicked” with or connected with immediately when you met them?
Today, think back to the important people in your life. Is there someone you haven’t talked to in a long time that was a good friend or who played an important role in your life? Consider trying to get in touch again. They may be happy and excited to hear from you.
